Very informative, but you left out a few of crucial steps. - free.ranger

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Very informative, but you left out a few of crucial steps.

Posted by free.ranger (A) on March 10, 2007 at 14:54:50

In Reply to: I'm going to do my own instructional DVD! posted by Bruce Kendall on March 10, 2007 at 12:45:55:

Call it #9a.
Smash the hell out of every 3rd shopper's cart as she/he cuts you off in the aisle and positions her Self-Serving Self so that you can't pass or proceed. Or makes you stop while Her Highness passes at her leisure, looking away from you as to dismiss your Pitiful Presence altogether. This will only happen when the store is crowded. More crowded, more occurrences.

#9a, sub 1, alternate.
The store does not have to be crowded for this to happen if every 3rd shopper is using a cell phone while in transit. But no worries. In these cases, you can smash their carts and they won't even know it.

#15a.
Upon exiting store, immediately adopt the pissed off expression and demeanor. Demonstrate the truth. Push cart briskly in direct line toward car in such manner as everyone will distinctly know that you are looking for an altercation. Parking lot drivers will notice. Indeed, without such countenance, your life may be at risk out in the open spaces. Be sure to catch everyones' eye with surly looks. Let your mind be an open book. Let others read the following: "C'mon, hit me you f..king mofo. I'll kill your family!"

#16a.
When finally in car, be sure to act agressive to cart pushers while exiting parking lot, as all those other drivers just did to you a moment earlier. This step is extremely important. Cart pushers must know their position in the natural order of things.

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Follow Ups Full Thread

Topic - I'm going to do my own instructional DVD! - Bruce Kendall 12:45:55 03/10/07 (13)

Bruce... I am both surprised and disappointed... - feet's too big 06:00:13 03/11/07 (3)

Hills create barriers for some reason. - Bruce Kendall 10:09:32 03/11/07 (2)

"It might be a good thing."... - feet's too big 10:41:28 03/11/07 (1)

LOL! -t - Bruce Kendall 10:50:41 03/11/07 (0)

Rookie.... - bboroski 05:44:40 03/11/07 (2)

We used to do that..... - Bruce Kendall 10:12:25 03/11/07 (1)

Re: We used to do that..... - bboroski 11:03:12 03/11/07 (0)

" time for a big glass of wine..." You did remember to buy the wine, right? - musetap 21:51:08 03/10/07 (1)

Crap. Why didn't you tell me earlier? -t - Bruce Kendall 10:10:21 03/11/07 (0)

I almost never grocery shop - JeffMO 16:43:26 03/10/07 (1)

Around here - Bruce Kendall 10:17:53 03/11/07 (0)

Very informative, but you left out a few of crucial steps. - free.ranger 14:54:50 03/10/07 (1)

Sooooooooooooo TRUE! - nubz 09:25:55 03/11/07 (0)

Follow Ups

Very informative, but you left out a few of crucial steps. - free.ranger 14:54:50 03/10/07 (1)

Sooooooooooooo TRUE! - nubz 09:25:55 03/11/07 (0)

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