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Re: You guys are idiots! Take another look at which record I'm talking about!

152.163.213.84

Posted by Frank P on August 3, 1999 at 07:43:06

In Reply to: You guys are idiots! Take another look at which record I'm talking about! posted by petew on August 3, 1999 at 05:23:35:

Hey Pete:

Since the gang won't realize what LP you're talking about, I might as well give you another Home Improvement type solution. Get either an acetylene torch or an arc welder & cut that baby a new #$@%$#&^!! (read: hole). Insert some Epoxy Putty to fill in the newly torched 4" hole and let it set for a few weeks to harden. Then, redrill the new hole for the spindle with a titanium drill bit on a Binford 3.5 horse Industrial Drill Press. Run the roughed-in LP through a joiner/planer to insure it's not warped and bake at 350 until done. Use a tap & die set to thread a hole in a Bright Star Little Rock so you can use it as your new Reference record clamp and put a VPI Brick on the head shell of your cartridge to make sure you have enough tracking force! If your anti-skate is off, mount a tow-truck winch on the wall on the right side of your turntable (facing the turntable, of course!) and fasten the chain or tow rope to your tonearm to exert the proper antiskate force (preferably with a 5 horse motorized winch). If still not sounding absolutely correct, place 9 Nordost Pulsar Points between the platter and the LP to reduce vibrations (preferrably with pointy end toward the LP). If this STILL doesn't do the trick, then, while the LP is spinning, whack the back of your tonearm with a rubber mallet (never use a regular hammer, do want to damage your tonearm?) to adjust the VTA. Well, it's tough being the "Vinyl Answer Man" (particularly when you know next to nothing about vinyl!) and, as you might expect, I have a busy schedule filled with numerous vinylphytes needing my invaluable (or is it, UN-valuable) assistance. If I can be of any further assistance in your vinyl journey, please do not hesitate to call.

Analogly Yours,

The Vinyl Answer man

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