General Asylum

Posted by Rob Doorack (A) on June 02, 2014 at 18:28:09

In Reply to: RE: The best and worst concert posted by Picklesnapper on May 31, 2014 at 19:11:06

The best concert I ever attended was by a band you never heard of, The "Punk Rock Janitors" from Harrisburg, PA. It was a Monday "audition night" (i.e., play for free) gig at CBGB in New York in '79 or '80. The Janitors began as three not - very - bright knuckleheads sitting around in a basement in Harrisburg listening to Ramones records and drinking beer. One day one of them said "hey, lets buy some guitars and start a band!". They flipped coins to see who would get which instrument and taught themselves to play. Danny Trash, the lead guitarist, had no concept of keys or scales - his solos sounded like they came from an alien culture. Original drummer Paul Bearer played while sitting on a trashcan. He had to concentrate so hard to keep a beat that veins in the sides of his head would throb grotesquely. He eventually left the band to be institutionalized and was replaced by Jack Hammer, a terrific drummer who'd played in a number of central Pennsylvania heavy metal bands. His double kick drums gave the Janitors' ultra crude 3 chord sound a ferocious drive. Jack also fit in perfectly with the intellectual level of the Janitors, as his main interest in life was pornography. The band was completed with the addition of Cherry Bomb, a rhythm guitarist who was in her early 20s but looked and dressed like a 12 year old. The band's name came from the fact that Bernie the bass player worked as a janitor in a mall, a job he lost for wearing black Spandex tights to work.

The Janitors became proteges of the Fuzztones, for whom I was a roadie and live sound engineer. The Fuzztones had some modest popularity in the Northeast and whenever possible they'd have the Janitors open for them. Audiences seemed to understand that The Janitors were average guys working as hard as they could, and the band was usually well received. It helped that Danny revealed an unexpected talent for writing catchy - albeit simple - songs.

The zenith of the Janitors' career came when the Fuzztones secured the audition gig at CBGB for them and a couple of hours of time in a small recording studio the same day. We could sense that the Janitors weren't fated to stay together much longer; after two years as a band the four unstable personalities were fighting more often than not. They taped a half dozen songs in the studio. I have a cassette dub of two of the wonderful performances and it's one of my favorite recordings.

That night the Janitors played to a nearly empty CBGB. The audience consisted of a half dozen Japanese tourists, the Fuzztones, their crew, and a few friends. The Janitors didn't care, they were completely awestruck by standing on the same stage where their heroes the Ramones had played. You'd have thought they were playing before 50,000 people. Danny was so nervous that he threw up before going on.

I think that somewhere in the depths of their tiny brains the Janitors understood that the CBGB show was likely to be the highlight of their lives, that afterward was only obscurity and stultifying boredom in a small town. Whatever the reason, for 20 minutes on a rainy Monday night the Punk Rock Janitors were The Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Band In The World. I have never seen a better live show and don't expect that I ever will. The band played like they were possessed, careening around the stage madly, jumping in the air, completely uninhibited. At one point Bernie leaped off the front of the stage and crashed down onto the club's concrete floor on his knees without missing a note. Danny played a solo lying on his back with his head in a kick drum. When the Janitors had blasted through every song they knew they just stopped. Those of us in the audience were too stunned by what we'd seen to even applaud. For a moment we just stood there like sheep, mouths agape in astonishment and wonder.

The Janitors went back to Harrisburg the next day and broke up shortly after. I never saw any of them again.