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Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run
to the end of his chain and gag himself.A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your
body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacementHe who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's
really in trouble.There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't
hurtDid you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it
spells "Theirs."
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to" Mark Twain
Follow Ups:
Dave
Later Gator,
Crank up your talking machine, grab a jar of your favorite "kick-back", sit down, relax, and let the good times roll.
I was getting used to hearing your voice rather often. It's been too long.
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
Dave
Later Gator,
Crank up your talking machine, grab a jar of your favorite "kick-back", sit down, relax, and let the good times roll.
Oh God, the memories....True story. When I was a kid and got into trouble I always knew when I was in really deep shit 'cuz that was the only time my mother would call me by my first and middle names. And I can remember as if it was only yesterday when in first grade my teacher called-out someone's name, his full Christian name, and I gasped out loud thinking she had just used profanity 'cuz she said my middle name which, up until then, I had never heard used before on someone else.
Ergo grex, ergo sum.
"When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself."YMWHDAlready our bloody blueheelercrossnextdoor issue. I don't know what it is GGGIII does to poor lil old Jassie but he LOVES to wind her up!!
And then he'll come back over their colourbond fence tail ever so slightly puffed up, and deep grey EYES sans ANY gold, and pretend to be a house cat again. BWMIHM type. Cats, eh?!
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
You and I really are a lot better at this than anyone else notices okay!? ;~)} for true!
"The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's
really in trouble."My lot, of late, just add the rest of me foist name mostly, as in "TIMothy!!!" in shock / irritation!!
BTA me MUM! GRHS, in moments of stress caused by YT, used ter suck her teeth and tut at me and say, fairly loudly, "Timothy James Montgomery Jackson Alexander BAILEY!!!!!!???!!! WWhat WILL I do with you!!!????"
So you're not alone THEIR, maaate! ;~)}!
Or "I'll go and get the willow tree!!!!!" - as in a green-switch from it! Mostly this was a threat ...... !
ONE of my brothers used ter joke with her about how BIGGG the willow tree was, and it was GINORMOUS. Did he cop IT from Mum, more than the rest of us put together? Yep!
Dr. Spock!? You'd be frigging kidding!!!!
There were 5 kids two who were MORE full tilt than moi, she was effectively on her own from 1956.
If I'm not careful I'll start yez orl off going "there, there, Timbo 'sorl right reeeely maaate", so I will stop, and go sieve some pebbles!
:-)}!!!!
WarmestTimbo in Oz
The Skyptical Mensurer and Audio ScroungerAnd gladly would he learn and gladly teach - Chaucer. ;-)!
'Still not saluting.'
-
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to" Mark Twain
happens" story?I just got off the phone with Mrs. bwk, who has been outside tending to the flower gardens. Since it is about 80 degrees and sunny there, a couple of other neighbors are out doing likewise. All seems to be serene.
Apparently, the little old couple across the street decided their housekeeper was stealing from them. So they did the classy thing, which was to wait until she showed up for work today and then went out on the front lawn to confront her and do some general yelling.
The housekeeper -- obviously a class act herself -- promptly went over to two large flower vases on the couple's porch and broke them. Then she marched to the side of the house and tipped over all three of their garbage cans. One of the two old farts goes in the house and calls the police.
The housekeeper jumps in her car and speeds away. The old couple are looking in the direction of their neighbors, who had just moments ago been out in their yards. It seems as if everyone vaporized.
The police are enroute, I am sure. In keeping with their policy of whipping out the helicopter at every opportunity (inmate nubz can attest to this), there is a yellow and white helicopter circling over the neighborhood.
Details at eleven.
I invited them to Ribfest. They got a look of fear on their faces I'll never forget. Maybe they thought I was going to use their ribs.
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
When a stranger talks to you, you immediately think "Oh god, who's this nutter?" They think it's either someone trying to scam them or a total nutter who will soon start rambling about the imminent end of the world.Sad - but it is good strategy to invite those who would otherwise complain of noise, etc.
But to change topics, I expected a comment or two by now! Too many LPs to comprehend, no?
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
Truly mind-blowing stuff, b'y! I've got to see it someday to really believe the absolute mass of it lol.I've been having fun getting your database into Access, and I just installed Office 2007, with it's new version of Access, and that's kinda blown what's left of my mind as far as features. I just gotta stop myself from abusing them all and keep it simple.
I'll let ya know what I come up with, should be fun playing with your db.
BTW, what's most fun is looking for LPs that I've got myself ;-)
Dave
Later Gator,
Crank up your talking machine, grab a jar of your favorite "kick-back", sit down, relax, and let the good times roll.
I'm just looking for trends here. ;~)
Catch!
WarmestTimbo in Oz
The Skyptical Mensurer and Audio ScroungerAnd gladly would he learn and gladly teach - Chaucer. ;-)!
'Still not saluting.'
.... it must a SoCal thing, as it reminds me of a very young Tom Hanks chasing Tawny Kitaen round the apartment with an egg-beater intent on carnality (in one scene from the movie Hanks would dearly love to see expunged from the records - "Bachelor Party")...There must be something about living on the San Andreas Fault that brings out this sexual association with helicopters (aka "egg-beaters").
Maybe Bwookie would care to elucidate for us non-SoCal types?
DevillEars
if the little old man started chasing the little old lady around in the front yard with an egg beater. Alas, such is not the case. The LA County sheriff seems to think dispatching a police helicopter to every fender bender is just prudent management of government resources.But your version is more entertaining. ;~)
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