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A gas station owner in Alabama was trying to increase his sales so he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."Soon a local redneck named Billy-Bob pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and if he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. Billy-Bob guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no free sex this time."
A week later Billy-Bob stopped in with his twin brother, Bubba, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number.....Billy-Bob guessed 2 this time...The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away Billy-Bob said, "Bubba, I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex. "
Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy-Bob. It ain't rigged. My girlfriend won twice last week."
Ergo grex, ergo sum.
Follow Ups:
A Nappy Headed Ho, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do."Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The Nappy Headed Ho said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders she would need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the Nappy Headed Ho came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the Nappy Headed Ho answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the Nappy Headed Ho added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
*****
A Nappy Headed Ho calls her Pimp and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The Nappy Headed Ho says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her Pimp decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a can of Red Bull, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Nobody wants to wear a sash that proclaims IDAHO
Ho ho ho!
Merry Christmas Don,Ho! Ho! Ho!
Three times should do it, right?
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Don Imus?
A: Santa can say, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" and still keep his job.
Best regards,
Respectable African-American Woman! Respectable African-American Woman! Respectable African-American Woman! instead of the usual denigrating refrain...
Dave
Later Gator,
Crank up your talking machine, grab a jar of your favorite "kick-back", sit down, relax, and let the good times roll.
Great joke!
Those are California beach dweller jokes.There was this California beach dweller...
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
Hey, you can do your version of "Find and Replace" and I'll do mine.
Here's a California Beach Dweller Photo for your viewing pleasure. I chose one with her best feature forward.
No Ho.
Can be found below. No Ho being North Hollywood, of course.
didn't he hit the wrong key writing that last word?
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
I think you win, but here's my entry.
Yours manages to prove that Ho is not gender specific.
I'd have a ho at her if she'd let me,
apparently they don't care about those marriage and age issues. I can't personally vouch for that, but I've heard it from some very reliable sources (millen).
I've got a cousin named Billy-Ray and I may be a red-neck, at least in Summer time.
A very close friend of mine once opined that the problem Jews have is that they carry a chip on their shoulder. Stark and broadly untrue when speaking of being enslaved, subjugated, and eradicated, but the fact is that there is a tad bit of truth there.Blacks too must realize that the truths within untrue statements have a basis and should be confronted. Not with the ousting of someone with influence, but with education for everyone involved...which means EVERYONE! Using Imus rather than ending his career, using Howard Cosell rather than ending his career, using anyone in a fair and creative manner makes a whole hell of a lot more sense!
I'm willing to bet Imus' wife gave him a ration of shit the likes of which would have scared the hell out of the "shirts" at MSNBC. The man is a shock-jock; but one with political and social clout...surely not a moron's shock-jock that wears women's panties and squeezes' "ho's" tits on national TV (the problem with channel surfing late at night is that you run across shit like that).
But no, why do something creative when you can make "create" news out of something that should have been handled far differently. They didn't achieve what they wanted to do any way...people are still talking about fired judges!
No contrition...action! Allow Imus to continue being the pain in the ass that occassionally makes people THINK. Send him to a "fairness" seminar and/or clinic...but use him, not throw him away.
But then, when did anyone with any REAL power in the media ever use their brains for anything but making money. And as for the advertisers...I'm willing to bet that at least one, if not quite a few more that threatened to stop advertising (as if they would have) are run by people who claim not to be bigots and do nothing but give lip service to that ideal. Within the confines of their corporate offices they speak derisively about blacks almost every day.
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
are white. You can call both nappy headed ho's all day and no one will call Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton.
G-R-O-A-N !!!
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