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Yeshiva University decides to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they lose race after race. Even though they practise and practise they’re always dead last.So the team decides to send Morris Fishbein, its captain, to spy on Harvard, the perennial champions. Morris schlepps off and hides in the bush where the Harvard team has its daily practices.
After a week he returns. “I figured out their secret,” he announces.
“What? Tell us! Tell us!” his teammates shout.
“We should have only one guy shouting. The other eight should row.”
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A Dead Horse (Reflections on Business Today)
Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:
01. Buying a stronger whip.
02. Changing riders.
03. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this horse."
04. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
05. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
06. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
07. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
08. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
09. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Change the requirements declaring "This horse is not dead."
11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat."
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Do a CA Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
16. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declare the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead.
18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.====================================================================
And one for MM and his predilection for visiting the medical profession:
Bill goes to the doctor's office complaining of not feeling well.
The doctor runs some test on him and in a few minutes comes back in. The doctor says, "Bill, sit down. I've got some bad news.
You don't have much time to live." Bill is obviously upset about this, but asks, "How much longer do I have doc?"
The doctor says, "10."
Bill says, "10 what? 10 weeks...10 months...10 years?"
The doctor replies, "9...8...7..."(Ouch!)
====================================================================Thought for the Day: "A day without sunshine is like night!"
Follow Ups:
A couple of those got sent directly to Janita's workplace - a workplace that may strongly resemble some of those remarks!Thank-you very much indeed.
jac - desperaudio
This weekend we celebrated my friend Reg's 70th birthday. I went into the bathroom and whoever had used the toilet paper last had left an empty roll. Leaning forward, I opened the cabinet and sure enough, fount a pack, took one out and put it into the dispenser.I realized then why I didn't kick the bucket and probably never will. I'm the only person in the world who can change a toilet roll! I'm always doing it at home, now at other's homes!
I found the reason for my existence!
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
Put the roll on wrong for some people, and your life could be ended quickly.
the end hanging behind the roll, yer ass-backwards and when you shit, it'll come out yer ears!
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
2) The "dead horse" options ran chillingly true for the actions and attitudes within various large organisations I have seen...3) I think I'll try to avoid seeing my doctor...
4) I rather like the amusingly self-evident, eg:-
Bluebottle: "Eccles my good man, why are you here"?...
Eccles: "Erm.... Everybody's got to be somewhere!..."...
Tea-break over...
nt
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