Audio Asylum Thread Printer

so when my eyes popped open at 4:00 a.m. I was hungry. I laid there for 45 minutes, and decided to quietly slip into the kitchen and make some hash browns and eggs real quick like. Then I could quickly clean up and hop back into bed for awhile.
So I got busy, and I wasn't making any noise or bothering anyone. Except for Cinco and Mayo, who decided to chastise me for showing up early and not having any cat food ready for them. But aside from that I wasn't bothering anyone. Except then the parrot smelled me cooking eggs and -- she being a cannibal and all -- started squawking and yelling at the top of her lungs for some egg. But aside from that I wasn't bothering anyone.
Nope, I was minding my own business and not bothering anyone until Mrs. bwk sweetly purred "G~ damnit, what did you have to smell the whole f~ house up for? And don't ask, I don't want any!" And then just to soften me up a little more she said "What's your f~ deal this morning, anyway?". But aside from that I wasn't bothering anyone.
After I ate, I did dishes and in my morning stupor I banged two pans together by mistake. I thought I heard something being said at the other end of the house, but it may have just been giant, angry vultures perched on our roof again or something like that. But after doing the dishes I realized I was energized. I decided to sneak into the office and turn on the computer, except in my energized stupor I opened the door and slammed it into a DVD case and a guitar that was there. That, of course, woke up the chihuhua and the parakeets. Stupid door.
But aside from that I am being really quiet and not bothering anyone. Except now I have to put the chihuahua out and that will wake up Ewok, and when I walk over there the fish will see me and start staring at me, sending ESP signals for fish food.
I should do this more often! I am really popular here this morning!

Inmate Central

Here is the deal: all I had for dinner was a salad,