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I habent had a code in so long I forgot how grungy a person can feel!I'b supposed to finish ad rebew ad just feel like laying dowd, drinking hot tea, ad becobig a vegetable.
Sniff, snort, sniff!
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
Follow Ups:
Dave
Later Gator,
Crank up your talking machine, grab a jar of your favorite "kick-back", sit down, relax, and let the good times roll.
Here's one to - hopefully - bring a little cheer...This cool and very large African-American dude is bopping down the sidewalk with a ghetto-blaster pounding away on one shoulder. So involved in the "music" is he, that he's swivelling, hopping, skipping, along and doesn't notice this short, skinny Jewish fellow walking in the opposite direction.
They collide and, as would be expected, the short, skinny Jewish fellow rebounds into the road, right in front of a speeding Yellow Cab. Feeling the impact, the dude spins 'round, sees the problem and grabs the li'l fella and drags him back onto the sidewalk just before the cab would've creamed him.
The short, skinny Jewish guy says to the big dude: "Oy vey, but are you vun lucky niggah sonuvabitch - I am a magic Jew and you've just earned yourself vun vish for saving mine life!"
After some pondering, the big dude says: "Magic Jew?"
MJ: "Vish numbah vun?"
BD: "All my life I've wanted to have sex with with a blue-eyed honey-blonde just like that one walking on the side, so - for my wish - I'd like to be right inside that blonde"
MJ: "Vish Granted!" (and turned him into a Tampax)The moral of the story:
"Never do business with a Jew, there's always a string attached!"
Yeah, yeah - I know! - It's not exactly in the flush of youth!
But then, neither is MM!
Quite antisemitic. Any good businessman knows that a fair agreement for both parties is best for the growth of any business.But you knew that!
That joke's older than me and I'm older than rocks.
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
I've tried and I've tried. I've tried using more bouillon, less bouillon, more flour, less flour......, but no matter what I do my plotz just never seems to thicken! It just makes that sound when you ladle it over potatoes or meat- "plotz".
Ergo grex, ergo sum.
(Foghorn Leghorn imitation)Ah say, you got it all wrong, boy. You need to be usin' cornstarch, son, cornstarch!
For head colds, if you catch it early, over-the-counter nasal spray Zicam cuts my cold to half the time. Amazing stuff. I'm not kidding! Next best thing to a cure.
a quarter sized dollop of Wasabi to open up the sinuses. If that doesn't work, I suggest plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids. But I think the Wasabi will work. Aren't you curious?
double hat cure. It involves a hat on a table a bottle of booze. You stop drinking when you see double.dee
;-D
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
Or, if it helps you heal faster, breasts and druids!
Ergo grex, ergo sum.
Snow and all.
jac - desperaudio
The trip back home was pretty anti-climactic. I was on stand-by for the first flight out of Dallas @ 6:00 A.M. but there were no available seats. The 8:00 flight I was originally scheduled to be on went down w/o a hitch (not w/o the goodwill and "positive waves" coming from those around here, Thank you very much!), and I must say that I was quite proud of the snow removal people we have here at our airport. While still in Dallas this morning those of us who were watching CNN could not help but notice the numerous cancelations and delays in places like Chicago and Detroit, even though they received less snow than us, and we all held our breath and crossed our fingers...And even though they managed to "only" (!) open all but two of the runways by the time I landed, the guys at MSP just dug-in and got the job done overnight, resulting in very few canceled or delayed flights according to my scan of the Departure monitors, and I can't say enough good things about those hard-working people.
Well done!
Ergo grex, ergo sum.
which will serve you well as a reservoir for curdled snot.This post explains your earlier one, at least, the one where you gave away all your LPs for a mess of hip-hop pottage.
Get well soon.
He did what ?
Ergo grex, ergo sum.
Dave
Later Gator,
Crank up your talking machine, grab a jar of your favorite "kick-back", sit down, relax, and let the good times roll.
Sorry,I have a bit of space problem now.
dee
;-D
just kiddig.
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
Did I ever tell you how much I love you?
Ergo grex, ergo sum.
I find that the Nyquil type products work really well. They basically knock you out so that your bod can get to get to healing.So try every suggestion you read here and you should be cured in about ten seconds flat lol.
Dave
Later Gator,
Crank up your talking machine, grab a jar of your favorite "kick-back", sit down, relax, and let the good times roll.
I am starting to act like Howard Hughes. I think germs are everywhere, so I am constantly spraying them. I go through antibacterial hand cleaner like it is water. I think of ways to avoid shaking hands. I won't take pieces of paper from people who have a cold. All because a few people I work with think it is their God-given responsibility to become ill and try to spread it to as many people as possible.Drink lots of fluid, and remember those electrolytes!
Get the "ElecrtoHeavies"
Or, more likely in Mike's case - Carmen Electra
jac - desperaudio
NT.
These
after I have re-charged my personal batteries...Good music, a comfy chair*, and generous access to Laphroaig I find particularly effective...
* You probably did not expect that...
...
It's funny that you should mention Howard Hughes as I have my own little hang-ups when it comes to handling certain things and he frequently comes to mind when I go through with them. One of my personal Rules of Germ Warfare is to never, ever touch the remote control for the hotel television regardless of how many times I have to drag my fat little body off the bed.
Ergo grex, ergo sum.
Why didn't I think of that earlier? I was already paranoid about hotel telephones. I know that is how I got my last cold.
Use "Real-Lemon" (or generic equivalent), coupla' Tsp of real honey and get busy drinkin' it.
And chaw on some ginseng while you're at it.
I'd send you some of that stuff I sent Bruce but the "Cold Fx" folks have decided that the price should go up because it's so popular so it's a little touch out of my income bracket now.
Damn stuff works good though - extracts of ginseng and some other treats.
jac - desperaudio
NT.
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