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'cuz I have a pile of Jewish jokes sent to me by one of my best buddies - whose picture might be the one you're most likely to see when you search for a definition of "jew" at Wikipedia.And awaayyyy we go... [OK - some of 'em are a wee bit old]
Q: What is a Jewish ménage-a-trois
A: Two headaches and a hard-onQ: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?
A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cookedQ: How does a Jewish wife cheat on her husband?
A: She has a headache with the postmanQ: What business is a yenta in?
A: YoursQ: What is a Jewish nymphomaniac?
A: A wife who does her hair and sleeps with her husband on the
same day.Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?
A: They put them in the carQ: What does a Jewish husband call a water bed?
A: The Dead SeaQ: Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?
A: NetanyahooQ: What's the name of the face lotion made especially for Jewish
women?
A: Oil of Oy VeyQ: What's the title of a horror film for Jewish women?
A: Debby Does The DustingQ: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?
A: PlaintiffQ: In Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become human?
A: When it wins a place in medical schoolQ: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?
A: Nothing at allQ: Define "genius"
A: An average student with a Jewish mother
Q: Why did the mohel retire?
A: He just couldn't cut it anymoreQ: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A: A fur coatQ: What do you call someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A: A meshuggenerQ: What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife's breast?
A: The tip of the icebergQ: What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a Jewish
woman?
A: A Mercedes Benz 500SL convertibleJewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll
never forget what she forgave."One of life's mysteries - how a 2 Ib. box of chocolates can make
a Jewish woman gain 5 lbsAnother of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something> in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him
A Bar mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play for one
jac - desperaudio
Follow Ups:
He breaks his nose.
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
Big Nose - Big Hose.off to find my micrometer. Done got some measurin' ta do!
jac - desperaudio
reminds me of the old slapstick joke, "Hey, is that your nose or are you eating a banana?"
Or the classic phrase you say to your big-nosed date as you are about to kiss her, " Those lips, those eyes, those nose..."
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