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76.1.12.128
In Reply to: Last child support payment! posted by free.ranger on February 27, 2007 at 11:07:27:
of Oklahoma. I heard she became a pirate. Her mother was a copper merchant I'd met in West Virginia. She made copper pots and sold them to wives who wished to poison their husbands with the food cooked in those untinned copper pots.She had three legs! The mother, not my daughter. One stuck out from her forehead. It was rather starange but it was something I got used to but then she became abusive and would kick me in the head with her upper foot. Worse, she never washed that foot as she didn't wear socks or shoes on that foot and determined that it would be fun to kick people with a bare foot that stuck out from her forehead.
As stated, she became abusive and I left her when I got angry one day and told her she could stick her foot up my ass...damned bitch did it!
I went to Nevada and began turning sandstone into water through a secret process named the Gezundheit project. It was ground breaking...literally.Well, this daughter whop had become a pirate decided to give me a gift on my 52nd birthday and sent a carving made from buffalo shit. It was a great piece of art, I could see that, but the subject matter didn't really appeal to me. It was a statue of Ellen Degeneris.
I sold it for a tidy profit. I got a lot of Tide for it.
Then my daughter found out I sold it and disowned me so I left Nevada and moved to Bimini, about three weeks before the atomic bomb was tested. That was interesting. I glowed for ten years, but I got that land really cheap!
When the island was deemed habitable a short time ago, I made a killing. I killed my ex-wife, so here I am in a horribly old jail, rotting away.
So, never screw with a copper merchant from West Virginia.
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!
Follow Ups:
getting a lot of Tide. You'd be collecting big royalties everytime someone wished someone else good tidings.
I have heard of such beings. Let me guess....
She drove a '72 Camaro that had only 3 wheels. The 4th
being an empty wire spool...obviously. Which could double
as a living room coffee table for entertaining. She wore bib
overalls that had rips in the seat and legs from crossing over
security fences in her constant search for the elusive copper.What a catch!! Didya get any piccies????
BTW, from the structure of the rambling post, it seems likely that you've been:a) Listening to "Bob Dylan's 115th Dream" too often
b) Partaking of some real good shit
c) Imbibing a soupcon or two of the dreaded alcohol
d) Either missed or exceeded your dosage of various meds:or any permutation of the above...
Please keep up the good work - its always enjoyable...
"Don't roll those blood-shot eyes at me!"
Strange looking woman, but I thought it might be the alcohol. The funny part was that she accused me of having a third leg -- not her. She asked me if I was into copper. I said no, I never made it with a policewoman before.
Now watch, I'll hit "submit" and the Asylum will go down.
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