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The future of ribfest

Posted by Muzikmike on April 14, 2007 at 12:18:29

The following is an account of what and how ribfest will devolve in the future:

By the year 2015, Muzikmike's ribfest had evolved into the largest
> audiophile gathering without corporate sponsorship in the world.
> Muzikmike had decided, after Ribfest 2013, when Clark Stevinson and
> Ferdinand Von Alstook killed one another in a bloody battle, that no
> company would be allowed to premier new equipment and thus
> transform ribfest into another CES.
>
> The death of Von Alstook and Stevinson, and the resulting deaths of
> hundreds of neighboring dogs and cats, forced this decision. This
> was, of course, unwanted as Mike had always felt that ribfest would
> be a superb venue for music buffs, audiophiles, manufacturers and
> DIY guys to get together, share some music and food, and have fun.
>
> The fact that Stevinson walked in with an UZI strapped onto each
> shoulder with two bandoleers of ammunition, 5 grenades hanging from
> his belt and a WWWIII military issued 45 hanging from a silver and
> gold holster had alerted Mike that something was in the air. When
> Von Alstook showed up with no weapons, although he'd been
> forewarned, Mike felt things would turn out fine. He didn't notice
> the spring-loaded derringer attached to Von Alstook's right arm.
>
> Von Alstook gave no warning as he walked up to Stevinson, extending
> his hand as if he was merely going to shake Stevinson's hand; but
> when he released and fired the derringer, the bullet bouncing off
> one of Stevinson's grenades, all hell broke loose. Perhaps if the
> assorted ribs and beef briskets hadn't been removed and set up for
> serving moments before, attracting dogs and cats for miles around
> Mike's neighborhood, things may have turned out differently. A
> miniature schnauzer had nipped Von Alstook and he believed that it
> was Stevinson's dog and that he had "sicced" her to bit Von Alstook.
>
> However it happened, things were changed forever after 2013, the
> year of the ribfest massacre. Limits were placed on the number of
> attendees as 2,647,392 people were a real problem to serve at the
> 2013 ribfest and the numbers had doubled by the next year. 2014,
> with nearly 6 million people attending, forced Mike to limit the
> sale of ribfest tickets. It was not, as some people believe, the
> shoot-out that had led to limiting ticket sales to only 10,000.
>
> With only 10,000 to feed in 2015, Mike had plenty of time to talk
> with old friends and promising his neighbors no more pets would be
> killed, he had created a wonderful atmosphere for music/audio
> camaraderie. The cost of a ticket did not seem to bother attendees,
> they realized that armed helicopters in the sky and the sixty
> 45,000 cubic feet per minute fans to draw the delightful smell of
> his ribs to heights that animals would not be attracted cost a lot
> of money; as did the five 400 foot grills.
>
> So, with ticket sales at only $25,000 and limited to 10,000, Mike
> had accomplished what no one would or could have imagined after
> 2013! The 25 bandstands, each separated with multi-million dollar
> anechoic and acoustic tiles, with each of those stages having
> different musical genres offered to the crowds, had been cut down
> to only 10 without any real problems arising; no attendee
> complained about anything but his over-full stomach.
>
> Since the cost of the tickets had allowed for handsome male and
> beautiful female masseurs to rub the bellies of the masses,
> everyone was jolly and looked forward to 2016.

This is a work of friction and no character has been depitted as being part of surreality.
>
****
If I had more money I'd soon be broke...but I'd have more LPs!

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