Dog and cat Etiquette rules

Inmate Central

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sherod

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food
and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesnâ€™t help because I fall
faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is
not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same
door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years â€“ canine or feline attendance
is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or catâ€™s butt. I
cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You donâ€™t.

2. If you donâ€™t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(hence â€œfurâ€nature).

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, itâ€™s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesnâ€™t speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

Eat less
Donâ€™t ask for money all the time
Are easier to train
Normally come when called
Never ask to drive the car
Donâ€™t smoke or drink
Donâ€™t want to wear your clothes

And finally, If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

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Kimber Kable

Topic - Dog and cat Etiquette rules - sherod 07:57:36 03/01/07 (3)

I can really relate to that today. - Bruce Kendall 11:49:58 03/01/07 (0)

"Normally come when called" Hmmm, you have never met my cat. )MT( - J. S. Bach 10:09:03 03/01/07 (1)

All of mine done get trained, see! - Timbo in Oz 01:04:35 03/02/07 (0)

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