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Do you have any plan for dying?
I know it is tough to know when where and how.. but any ideas on it?
I have to say most folks stories of how their parents died are horror stories. Long slow declines in some sort of nursing setting. Being 'saved' with medial interventions so you can rot even longer in a lingering Hell.
I have to say my sisters death from metastasized bone cancer was the worst I know of firsthand. The end was two months of torture. Death was a welcome relief for her.
My plan is when I am almost to the point of bailing out, I would go Northwest and drive into the wilderness, feed my carcass to the wolves. My bones could bleach for years undiscovered.
Polar bears would be better.. but they may be extinct by the time I am leaving this place.
If something happens in the meantime, I already have 'do not resuscitate' orders, if only they follow them!
The endless number of stories I hear about old folks and the dragged out lingering mind numbing crap they went through.. Jeez.
Follow Ups:
I have a friend as good as the Chief, who's willing to hold a pillow over my face.
Pull the plug.
Damn hospital grade connectors are a bear to unplug!
If you don't become the ocean, you'll be seasick everyday ...
- Leonard Cohen
Damn audiophilia!
My plan:
be buried in a coffin big enough to hold my stereo system!
And a sense of humor.
One more thing I learned the hard way is, that at least one hospital, a DNR on file doesn't mean anything if the person it was written for doesn't have a signed copy on them.
My mom was in the final stage of Alzheimer's, completely comatose but would swallow soft food if we put it in her mouth. One night she went into convulsions and my Dad rightfully hoped for the end but couldn't take it and called 911.
Paramedics transported her to the hospital my folks have been with for 30 years. When the doctors met us in the waiting room they said she had a heart attach and they had her stabilized.
My Dad tactfully let them know they were supposed to provide pain relief only and that they had a long standing DNR on file.
The Doctors left and had a two nurses explain the situation with DNRs and we thanked them for doing their jobs and that we understood what happened.
So I guess I'll need a wrist thingy or something to wear so I don't get resuscitated if I'm where my Mom was.
As one-time leader of this estate's Community Fire Unit, I have already discussed this with a lot of the neighbours. Cancer triggered it.
We plan to stay fit and active, and try to die together, OR at least be scattered on Mt Taylor together.
One or two cremations first. Then a high-church Anglican funeral @ 10 AM, at St Pauls. Brass plaque/s on the brick wall there.
Then a funeral parade and party/wake - here - with the band. On a Saturday, leaving time for both our ashes to be scattered on Mt Taylor Nature Reserve, that afternoon.
Warmest
Tim Bailey
Skeptical Measurer & Audio Scrounger
1. I don't think I want to give my money to the medical establishment.
2. I would want something better to come of it.
3. It may work out with my retirement plan to live in a third world country with plenty of low-cost help even if medical care is third rate.
4. I may be happier that way, too.
...my wife and I (both healthcare professionals) have made a plan.If either of us becomes terminally and is in intractable pain, begins losing our minds, loses our mobility and/or becomes a serious burden to the other, we will help the other.
Preparing the family and then going to sleep and not waking up would not be such a bad option.
I work with seniors everyday and on average I see a decline around age 85.
Some are very sharp and only slightly physically impaired at 100. I don't think I want to live that long.
For us it's about quality of life, not longevity at any cost.
Today we spend nearly a quarter of all of our healthcare costs during the last 6 months of life.
On the other hand in 20 or so years, science will advance to repair cellular DNA and provide bionic body parts so aging and death will become less of an issue - for those who can afford it.
And no doubt people here will still be asking if being an audiophile is a dying hobby :-)
Edits: 05/08/17 05/08/17
They are each 82yo and in good health so far.
BUT, they have seen so many of their brothers & sisters go in unplanned, undignified end of life disasters that they are planning now.
They've already started "decluttering" their home and passing on items of sentimental value etc to my sister and I.
After "decluttering" is complete, they will sell and buy an apartment in a retirement village - One that operates the full spectrum of "no care" to full assisted care in the same facility - so that if one goes bad they will still be close together.
They are close to putting a deposit on a place now.
Then there are the wills - they've rewritten and given my sister and I copies to check over, so there are no surprises and we can work out any issues beforehand.
Luckily, they have plenty of money and have the ability to choose where and when they start their final move. A fall resulting in a broken hip is the beginning of the end for many elderly folks and they are aware that everything could go south for one of them quite quickly if something as simple as a slip in the bathroom or kitchen occurred.
Apologies for being too sensible .......
Cheers,
John K
...a great name would be Soylent Corp.
Seriously, a well planned, dignified and culturally acceptable "check-out" process would be so much less stressful for all involved. Unfortunately, too much religious, legal and other baggage that this probably will not occur in the lifetime of anyone capable of reading this just now.
I'm going kicking and screaming. Life's too much fun.
We all have them, but most only have them for their final outcome, not how to prepare now for it. There are many mind training regimens that Buddhists and others teach. I wish more folks would attend to them.
Myself, I asked that I be cremated; my ashes thrown onto federal park lands somewhere. I have no particular place in mind. I asked Spousal Unit to hand carry "me" back to Alaska and dispose on a flight over Denali. She said if she was to go to that expense it would be for fun outing with her new lover. I said why can't you do both, same flight?
You can imagine the fun conversation that followed. Knowing her, she'll try to emulate Bridges and Goodman dumping Donny in The Big Lebowski.
a friend has been in the hospital since November basically dying.
She made a "miraculous" recovery and went home for three weeks, then back to the hospital.
ICU back and forth. Constant bed rest/machine care.
Doctor said last night they should take out her breathing tube and let her go peacefully.
Family sez no. SHE had said no. She is completely incommunicado.
Her quality of life on a scale of 1-10 for the past months has been (on a good day) 2.
She has more things physically wrong with her than I could type in ten minutes.
There's been nothing but pain and misery and stress and bills for months for the family.
But I don't understand the mental process behind any of it.
Why all the suffering for so many?
Even sadder is her husband will follow this same pattern sooner than later.
"Once this was all Black Plasma and Imagination" -Michael McClure
Our friend died this afternoon.
Even the machines could no longer keep her alive.
"Once this was all Black Plasma and Imagination" -Michael McClure
So sorry to read that.
My condolences to you and her family.
The only thing I can add is that I'm glad her suffering is over.
For many of the people I have known the closer they are to death the more they love and strive for life.
I've thought about it.
I might have a fun weekend or two of illegal drug use, then overdose on barbiturates.
I was thinking it might be fun to rent a super car, or at least a high-end sports car and race it around twisty mountain roads like a lunatic then fly it off a cliff. ;-)Of course I would do it somewhere remote to not kill or injure anyone else.
Edits: 05/08/17
...just like Thelma and Louise.
...I'm probably missing your point. Not a good plan? ;-)
----------------------
"E Burres Stigano?"
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