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according to laughlab.com, out of 44,000 jokes submitted, here are the top two:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "and what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
and the winner is:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Edits: 04/18/17Follow Ups:
Monty Python's Flying Circus - World's Funniest Joke
Ok, ok, ok. Just supposing there'e a funnier joke. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the 44 thousand jokes don't be representing the whole entire universe of jokes.
Then where we be?
These are insult jokes.
The second one is aberrant. It's probably funny to sociopaths and psychopaths. Someone who fantasizes about murdering people probably finds it funny. It's sadistic. Sick - not funny.
Severius! Supremus Invictus
I heard the first one
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to" Mark Twain
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