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Do you prefer or not prefer your significant other to be interested in your audio passion? And why?
Follow Ups:
...I am the chief instigator of the current upgrade cycle.The spousal unit is a retired professional orchestral musician and luddite, possessor of various odds and ends of pro gear. He has reluctantly agreed that he can hear differences between amps. But he desperately clings to the hope that lamp cord sounds as good or better than audiophile cabling.
Since he has 4000 LPs and I have 800 CDs we spend a considerable amount of time listening to music together. We're assembling a nice, moderately priced system for the living room. I picked the amp. We both enthusiastically agreed on the speakers.
My goals include getting rid of the two mixing boards that currently hog way too much space in the equipment rack. Everything after that, aesthetically speaking, should be easy. BTW, two walls of the living room and one wall in the dining room are entirely lined in LP shelving. Suits us.
PS: Although we both love Mahler, Wagner and Hindemith, he has yet to convince me of the charms of Bruckner.
Edits: 04/06/17 04/06/17
AWESOME!
My wife is my real partner in crime, and has been the instigators of some of our biggest upgrades so long as I put the stereo in the room we spend most of our evenings. Suits me very well.
I am the techno of the two of us, but she's pickier than me about the sound. She got me into vinyl, too!
====
"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
I had a separate listening room/office in our previous house, and I combined 2 BR when renovating our current house to create a large listening space. I can do whatever I want in there. She says she can just "close the door". OTOH she insisted that whatever was put into the family room, kitchen, dining room etc, had to be unobtrusive. Single box HT receiver, modest L-C-R speakers, inwall for everything else. I ran ethernet cable from my room to the HT receiver, and can play music all over the downstairs. She and I share musical tastes and often listen to music streamed from upstairs through the HT receiver. She also has her hobbies and interests. The key is trust and communication. We trust each other not to break the bank in pursuit of our interests and we check in with each other regarding significant purchases. Works for us. Then again, we know other couples where the husband has a somewhat expensive hobby. In one case, the husband spent a modest amount of money on something, so the wife went out and spent the same amount of money on jewelry. In another case, the wife told the husband that his hobby only benefited him, and if funding came from the "family" budget then the "family" had a right to participate. End of hobby.
... and very rarely to our home theatre system.
The good news is that she has never objected to my spend "reasonable" sums on my equipment.
I love the music of Dmitri Shostakovich ...
When we were dating 30 years ago, she enjoyed listening to my Acoustat 2+2 based system. Today, she doesn't listen as much when I do, but she enjoys singing along to her Broadway titles like Wicked .
You'll most often find her playing her baby grand - which provides a nice ongoing live experience for me.
The secret to system WAF is having a dedicated space for your gear. Shortly, after we married, my father-in-law and I finished the basement in my first house and moved the stuff down there. Second house built with dedicated space and now the third has a large bedroom upstairs for listening. :)
...then no. I've found women that have their own money to be liberating.
I'm on wife #3. Wife #1 lied to me, saying she loved all my music (jazz, rock), then on our anniversary she left me at home to attend a concert by her real passion - George Strait. I could tolerate the music but not the lies.
Wife #2 couldn't stand Billie Holiday because her voice wasn't....white enough for her. I think aliens allowed me to marry her.
When I met Wife #3 she had the complete Monk/Coltrane CD on her coffee table and in her changer.
Guess which one was the keeper?
P.S. - #3 has no issues with my large vinyl collection or my fairly large stereo setup and listens with me daily. She goes to clubs with me. I don't think it's a requirement for a successful relationship but it surely helps.
and, as far as the music is concerned, loves discovering new acts that hit her sweet spot.
----------------------
"E Burres Stigano?"
If the stereo stores had a jewelry counter my wife would be all in
My wife of 33 years accepts my audio nirvana, and I accept her TV addiction.
We are WAAAY past the trying to share one hobby with the other though.
Nothing she watches on the telly has any interest to me, and my music is of no interest to her.
We do go out to a musical event (concert or play) a few times a year though.
She has been my partner in building the stereo. The biggest upgrades, and the capability to play vinyl all came from her.
We have the whole thing set up in our living room, too. No "mancave" and play music through it every day. Supplants the TV most evenings.
So, yeah, I like it that way.
====
"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
My wife is able to appreciate good sound up to a point, but that point is somewhere around the entry level of hifi, and she will never be interested in the hobby aspects of audio e.g. auditioning, A/Bs, gear flipping, and system tweaking. She did attend a show with me once, and enjoyed the first couple of hours of it, but after that she was spent on auditioning.
I'm happy that we accept each other's hobbies, and so far we've always been able to find a middle ground on expenditures, and audio has never really been a point of contention in our relationship.
My wife is also much more interested in home theater, while I am much more interested in music. During times when we only had one system we were often debating whether to watch a movie or listen to music. Then I built a dedicated room downstairs. Before kids, we used to enjoy a nice listening session together down there about once a week. Now we have two young kids and time for hobbies is scarce so she doesn't sit down to listen with me very often anymore. My daughter enjoys it more, but given her age she has limited tastes in music. So these days I appreciate my opportunities to have a quiet listening session by myself.
My wife is a music lover and often listens to her music on my 2-channel system. She can usually tell when I add or change a component or a tweak and often gives me her opinion on it, although I never spoil her critique by telling her what I've done or what to listen for in advance.
She, however, doesn't pay any attention to the specifics of the system itself. She's into horses, not electronics.
We often listen to music that we both enjoy together, but some of her favorite music is not my cup of tea and the opposite is also true, so we frequently enjoy listening separately. She's welcome in my music room and never has anything negative to say about WAF, how much I spend, or anything similar just as I don't interfere with her horse barn, tack room, or corral.
We've been together for forty years so something must be working right :-)
Cheers,
SB
It would be nice if she was interested just so we could spend time listening together. On the other hand, we cook together, work out together, work on the house together, do yard work together, watch movies together, travel together, sleep together . . . I guess it's okay if we enjoy different hobbies.
...we liked the same music and she enjoyed listening and hearing differences when I changed stuff out.
Second wife ...uh ...NO. I don't miss her.
Dean.
reelsmith's axiom: Its going to be used equipment when I sell it, so it may as well be used equipment when I buy it.
We met in 1977 while I was on my way to see the Jimi Hendrix and Led Zep movies. The conversation we started then about music continues today. For the most part, we both like all the same music.
As for gear, she is very tuned in on the sound and any changes I make, but would rather that I did not have 5 systems around the house.
And in the main rig, when I swap out my Clearfields for my Dynaudios she always says "I want the bigger ones back"
...we're both engineers but she couldn't care less about the what/how of the equipment, provided it's not too obtrusive in the living area. My two biggest system revisions were direct responses to her request that we "streamline/reduce" what we (I) have. That's how I wound up moving from Dahlquist DQ20 speakers to Magnepan MGMC1s on the wall and a sub, and from a pre/power/phono pre front end to a Rogue Cronus Magnum integrated.
Worked out just fine as far as I was concerned - I got to decide on the what and how and she sees less stuff.
.
Mine is indifferent to audio. But, she does like guitars.
8^)
My wife is from the school of 'if music is being played above normal listening levels, a person is either: 1. having a party and/or gathering, or 2. cleaning the house'.
Although she's often sat with me while I listen to music, I know she would much rather be watching Netflix with me. How do I know this? I pretty sure it's from that one time I turned the music off and turned on Netflix and she said "yes-Netfix!".
If I listen w/o her (and she's inside the house) I get this gnawing feeling she feels isolated or ignored. So I pretty much do my listening while she's out of the house.
I would love it if my wife was interested in audio, but she is not. In fact, it is a complete turn-off to her. My obsession with gear has taken its toll on her over the years. I am very fortunate that she is tolerant of my madness and the constant march of new equipment in and out of the living room.
My system is my wife, albeit not too cuddly, sounds great.
Never complains when I bring new partners into our relationship, never complains about room treatments, and speaks the language of love.
Music.
I said it's better than having five girlfriends
She is and has been very supportive and tolerant since then
My wife derives quite a few laughs from my hobby. She thinks I'm nuts, even though she too is an avid music fan and does seem to appreciate the system on the rare occasions she listens to it with me. But, truth be told, she's the kind of person who would be (and is) content listening to music over a pair of $20 Best Buy computer speakers. The relative lack of fidelity doesn't bother her in the least. She's ALL about the music--which is something I quite admire.
In a perfect world, sure, I'd love her to fully share my passion for audio, but I understand that she's a completely different person with completely different priorities, and that it just doesn't move her in the way it moves me. But our differing viewpoints on the hobby make the rare times we do share music together on the main system all the more special.
This is a public service announcement . . . WITH GUITARS!!!
I've been driven underground. I don't see the purpose in public music any longer.
My lady and I don't sit much and listen.
We more move around, pass and bump each other
with the music playing.
On the one hand- she doesn't care much about the equipment,
but on the other- she's the first one to comment elsewhere-
does this sound tinny to you?
My lady loves spending time listening to music with me, but she has no interest in the electronic equipment. That said, she has no problem with my speakers being optimally set up out into the room either. She also has no problem with the fact I have more amps, speakers, etc than I could possibly use lol.
We prefer to be interested in each other's hobbies and pursuits.
There's a lot of overlap, shared enthusiasm in such plus we both have a deep love of music - amongst other things.
As far as the actual audio equipment though, she couldn't care much less.
Works for us.
"Once this was all Black Plasma and Imagination" -Michael McClure
I'll always recall a story from a friend about one of his friends. For his birthday the man's wife bought him a set of the original Wilson WAMM speakers. And they were set up in the living room.
In a perfect world, I'd come home, and see my wife or girlfriend tinkering and upgrading the system...... [-;
or the 100 feet of cabling all over the floor.
Or the sheets hung from the ceiling.
Or the Mattress blocking the window.
She's So unreasonable.
be a REAL audiophile!
"Once this was all Black Plasma and Imagination" -Michael McClure
I've been through a few women in my lifetime, very few care about audio even if they do like music. I have a music room where I can play what I want, when I want. It's mainly a room just for me, she very happy with that and she knows where to find me. I selfishly enjoy my time there.
She loves music. We listen together in the car and while cooking. She does not frequently sit for a long listening session with me. My system is in the den so we meet in on middle on sound vs style. It works for us.
Edits: 03/28/17
My wife doesn't have an ounce of interest in my audio passion. I know she was relieved when I moved my gear from the den to a small mother-in-law attached structure and made it into a dedicated music room. The only thing that matters to her in my music room is the aesthetic
presentation which I must admit it quite attractive. I suppose some might call it a man cave.
I initially used it as a cigar lounge but decided that it could be better served for audio purposes.
I do have a tendency to indulge my love of high end audio with gear that will make a significant sound improvement. My most recent addition was a REL T9i sub to go along with my Magico S1 MK2 speakers. My wife seemed relieved when I told her that now I don't feel a need to move up to the new Magico S3 MK2 speakers. I just have to carefully frame explanation for new purchases.
He had been keeping the system in his basement, and was moving to a condo (no basement) so he sold it all to me for $100.
Nothing too fancy.
The sad part was he was total hook line and sinker for his new wife. Who promptly ended all his other interests and friends, outside of their church (where they met).
... I hope he's happy, and that it didn't feel like a sacrifice.
I have a couple of old hobbies and interests that through life's twists and turns that just weren't where I was anymore. Hope that was him and his stereo.
====
"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
Sadly, he allowed it. No one put a gun to his head.
. . . when I play recordings by the "Three B's": Berlioz, Bruckner, and Babes. She calls Berlioz and Bruckner "the Blaring Brass Brothers", and, as for babes, that kind of speaks for itself. But even here, she's humored me on occasion and attended babe musician concerts with me! I'm very fortunate!
actually, she was keeping her eye on you. :-)
Jim
http://jimtranr.com
...before we had kids.She used to complain about all the equipment in the living room so we got a dedicated room and now she's happy.
She still enjoys music a lot and likes going to concerts with me as long as they aren't too heavy. Her favorites in recent years were Hall and Oates, Earth, Wind and Fire, Chicago, Boz Scaggs, Jackson Browne and Bonnie Raitt.
Now we listen together while we talk on Friday evenings and when we have people over for dinner.
Edits: 03/28/17 03/28/17
Nt
nt
I'd prefer mine to be "interested" to at least the extent that she won't reflexively wrinkle her nose at the mere hint of a suggested audio improvement that might do violence to her esthetic sensibilities. And I've been extremely lucky in that regard--as is attested to by the fact that, whatever her shake-of-the-head reservations (or her pithy "they look like refugees from '2001'"), she's allowed me to turn two of our most lived-in rooms into virtual Stonehenges of bass and scatter-plate-equipped traps.
Of course, I knew I had a keeper near the beginning of our relationship 36 years ago when she allowed me to drill holes through her living room carpet and hardwood floor so I could run Fulton Gold from my DIY speakers to the entry closet she vacated to allow me to install an audio rack there.
It doesn't hurt that she loves good music and has an ear that's arguably more discerning than mine.
Sorry, guys. She doesn't have a sister.
Jim
http://jimtranr.com
Whaaat? Does she clean fish and change oil too? Who is this paragon?
The cornerstone of my "audio passion" is listening to music, which I find more enjoyable when shared with others.
My wife is appreciative when I make changes that improve the quality of the reproduced sound. I don't have to point them out to her. She notices, and when she doesn't I question whether I have actually made an improvement.
Her support may also be influenced the fact that our most expensive audio "component" is a large Persian rug.
...she never sits down for a serious listening session. As for audio equipment? The only stuff she ever enthusiastically liked were the Shahinian Obelisks that were once part of my system. The rest? Meh!
When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.- Ronald Reagan
You know, as I spend more time having optimized things, I have become far more interested in music than the next tweak or gear swap out. We've been pretty stable for about 3 years.
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"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
The shared enjoyment of recorded music in the home is one of the bedrock foundations of my marriage. My wife has excellent taste (in music, if not in men) and has led me to lots of music I would not have attended to without her. I have ...taste..., and she has gamely followed along for the last 40 years.
Not surprisingly, she is nowhere near as interested as I am in getting the last scintilla of fidelity out of our recordings. But she does acknowledge that better systems do in fact sound better, and she hasn't impeded any of my purchasing decisions.
Life is good.
Happy listening,
Jim
"The passage of my life is measured out in shirts."
- Brian Eno
Unfortunately my wife is severely hearing impaired. Not that she lets it stop her from brilliantly illustrating just how much she doesn't get it every now and then.
Like when I am enjoying the best overall playback of "Room For Squares" I have ever heard and she makes the comment "John Mayer really doesn't have that many good songs does he?" Downright infuriating.
Edits: 03/28/17
Many of us would agree with her. After all, 2 kinds of music in the world: I like and I don't.
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