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Tweakers' Asylum Tweaks for systems, rooms and Do It Yourself (DIY) help. FAQ. |
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Tweakers' Asylum Tweaks for systems, rooms and Do It Yourself (DIY) help. FAQ. |
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In Reply to: RE: A lurker's view posted by Steve Eddy on February 10, 2011 at 10:13:58:
Steve, I read Jon's post as stating everything should be viewed as conjecture, so any discussion of it shouldn't insist on a proof. That means it's fine to discuss the value of ideas in a constructive way, but that doesn't include demanding proof.
Spirited debate is beneficial unless done in a way that consistently takes it into the weeds. That's a matter of communication style. One can challenge or disagree in a way that isn't caustic, repetitive or insulting, but is respectful, helpful and moves the conversation forward. When one of my staff would consistently do the former, I would direct them to change style to the latter, be quiet, or leave the meeting.
Likewise, sometimes folks are overly sensitive to any question. They quickly get defensive and say others don't play fair or are picking on them. That reaction can also take things into the weeds by altering the tone of the conversation. It shifts attention from the debate of ideas to the individuals and their personalities. Not much hope of useful outcome at that point. When my staff did that we would try to depersonalize the discussion. If they still couldn't accept any non-personal criticism, it was time for more training! Some are just too thin-skinned to participate in debate.
It's incumbent on all particpants to embrace the spirit and purpose of the forum. We all make mistakes in communication, and they are magnified by the Internet where we are not face to face in the same room. Trivial slights quickly blown out of proportion.
Participants can minimize that by always assuming best intentions on the part of others. That means ignoring perceived slights and continuing with discussion at a high level.Just because you think someone is rude or hypercritical doesn't mean you have to respond in-kind or at all. If you think slights are ongoing, those folks should discuss that OFF-LINE, but never on the forum.
If that doesn't work, and it seems someone is always picking on another, that should be brought to the attention of the moderators OFF-LINE. If the moderators won't enforce order, then it's time to find a new forum. Life is tough enough without dragging personality clashes into a hobby forum.
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Follow Ups
- RE: A lurker's view - bobcole 12:29:18 02/10/11 (0)
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