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For April 1

Posted by soldermizer (A) on March 30, 2006 at 21:17:56

The Audiophool’s Lament

Welcome to the asylum, young lover of sound,
Spend some time, look ye around.
There’s a ward to suit whatever your style
Audio, video, and all the while.
Truth you’ll learn, from the masters here.
To dispel your neophyte fears.

I wandered ‘round, selecting Tubes and such,
Knowing that I wanted to learn much.

Welcome, ye greenhorn, view antique wares.
That’s a Dynaco 70, right over there.
Good basic amp, warms up the sound,
And also the room, when winter rolls round.

Forsake push-pull, quoth those in the know,
What ye want, is single end triode.
Look at all our vendor’s wares – 845 or 2A3’s to spare.
Deeper down in the nuthouse I ventured
Trudging as a lunatic indentured.

Past squabbling inmates I wandered,
Their lunatic babblings I pondered:

“Feedback is evil, unless it’s local.”
If past the transformer, the opposition was vocal.

“Solid silver wiring, accept nothing less.
But solid-core or twisted? But I digress…”

I was trapped among many ranting of cables,
But I’d prefer to drink myself under a table.

Sometimes to poke fun I would skewer the man:
Transistor amps bad? “Sure, they’re made of sand!”
I cared not if they thought me an ass, I asked
“Whence then cometh the valve’s glass?”

In the sub-basement, Bedlam’s foul nest,
The trolls fought bitterly over what tube sounded best,
Much was made of valves thermionic,
Disputing musicality, or which was microphonic,
“Ken-rad! Clear-tops! Tung-sol!”
With confusion, I did my eyes roll.
“No, you’re a fool! At least a dullard;
Those in the know’d pick Mullard!”

Whether home brewed or bought at some pricey boutique,
Sometimes bought from Hong Kong by a cheapskate freak,

All for music, pure music, yet a motive much baser:
To one-up your friends, say “mines greater!”

This hobby is pricey, its costs runaway,
Give me back my Kenner Close-and-Play!

This post is made possible by the generous support of people like you and our sponsors:

Kimber Kable

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