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I know of your enormous pain and sense of loss.

My father was killed in an auto accident on April 26, 1997. He was late in coming home from work and we had just filed a missing persons report with the Sheriff's Office when we got a phone call from the hospital. The doctor did not want us to see the body, or give us many details. The next day, when we saw the condition of his vehicle, we knew that he must have suffered greatly in dying. The police report we obtained months later indicated that he was not dead at the scene, but died when they removed him from the vehicle. My family and three other parties sued the person/company responsible for the accident and that stretched into a long, hard legal battle that was settled two years later. I honestly don't know how my mother had the strength to endure all of those months of inquiry, deposition, and testimony.

The thing that hurt me the most was not having the opportunity to say goodbye to him, to say all of the things I wanted him to know. And when they are taken suddenly, there is no sense of closure. Time helps, but the missed opportunity is forever. For the sake of all your friends and relatives, say what you want and need to say to each other now, while you are all together to honor his passing. The opportunity may never come around again.

Please feel free to write to me if you need someone to talk to.

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