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Aloha & Farewell to the Audio Asylum.....

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Aloha,

It's interesting that sharing a philosophy of economic moderation would draw such venum! I've travelled quite a distance on the subject within my own path. Shortly after my spiritual awakening I gave everything I owned away, absolutely everything, to strangers in the street. Car, stereo, money, all possession save a small backpack with a few supplies and set out into the world with literally no idea where I would end up. At the time I felt poverty was the true path. Over the years I've softened a bit and feel that poverty holds no spiritual benefit, that poverty is a disease. But I realized that part of that perception was accurate in the sense that wealth is an equal disease. So now I allow myself a few toys but I never pay retail, always used/demo. These few toys are in no way a violation of the path of economic moderation and the spiritual ideals held within.

But given the tone of most of the replies in the thread below, I do not feel comfortable with participating in this forum anymore. It is so odd that an opinion of economic moderation would set so many folks off. So be it.

Farewell Audio Asylum and thanks for the audio advice. I wish each and every one of you nothing but the best, blessings to all. I no longer feel welcome and that's usually the best sign that it's time to leave.

FWIW, here is a brief bio about my life. You can reach your own conclusion about whether or not I'm a monk:

"I was quite a normal person in college when a series of events began to unfold which thrusted me in to an all consuming awakening which lasted a year (the intense part lasted a year, the process continues to this day but is MUCH easier). It was extraordinarily difficult, when I came out the other side, I was not who I was before. There had been a deep and fundamental transformation. During that phase of the transformation I was really almost crazy, not quite, but pretty close, I was unable to work or function well in soceity, all my time was spent just being present to this sort of divine eruption.   Day after day of unending agony. Words cannot describe how difficult it was. It made depression seem like nirvana, it was that hard. I was fortunate to have people around me who understood that it was a spiritual awakening because I thought I was just plain insane.

   There were 3 short breaks during that year, each lasted about a day, and were somewhat transcendent,........ there was a large room with unbelieably powerful transcendent light pouring in the windows, outside the house there was a river, an unbelievably pure river, pure with love, not just water, there was a fountain, a fountain for all to drink from if they were thirsty, thirsty for truth. It flowed never endingly, it was pure truth, a truth beyond thought, beyond anything of the gross plane. There were others at the rivers edge, they understood the essence of that water, yet it was very obvious that the physical world was VERY far away from that reality. The big view would pass and it would be back to the trenches, back to the utterly insanely difficult ground work. There were a couple more similar experiences.

Coming out the other side of that year long period I began to experience a sort of spontaneous meditation and kundalini activity that occurs absolutely everyday without fail. It's not a bother, in fact I'm fortunate that it's all very integrated into my every day life in a balanced way. It is the manifestation of a continuing awakening, in that I do not see myself as being at any particular end, everyday is a discovery. It's sort of a divine discovery channel, where all this will lead remains to be seen. I'm 31 now, have many years to sort that out.

Awakening has continued daily, in the form of spontaneous states of meditation that come on their own, I perform no practice to bring them about. But a year into all the happenings is when it was clear a monk's life was the life for me. I gave away all of my possessions, all but a small backpack with a jacket and a change of clothes, and 10 bucks in my pocket. I set off on a journey to find a suitable monastery, hitch-hiking out of Sandpoint, Idaho. I just went, not knowing where I would end up. I wanted to join a monastery, probably buddhist, but was open to other possibilities. The journey continued for 2 years, each step of the way was made possible by the generosity of strangers. I never once asked for money, when I needed it, it came. The journey carried me across the united states, New Zealand, Australia, Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, India and Nepal. Searching, searching, searching for a monastic tradition that seemed appropriate. I visited christian monasteries, buddhist monasteries, and many ashrams of various flavors. Spent a month in Dharmsala, India, observing the DL's monastery and was able to meet the Dalai Lama twice. It is an enormously large story, which I'll spare you the details. Yet none of the monasteries nor monastic traditions struck me as very appealing.

I spent hours observing the goings on in these organizations. I saw many genuine monks, and I met many that seemed completely ungenuine. The gurus I observed were largely unimpressive. I observed the enormous political nature of the organizations, I observed the obsessive repeating if not abuse of mantras and chanting. These are generalities, but correct ones according to my experience. In the end I could not in good faith subject myself to the confines of these traditions, to do so would be counter-religious in my eyes. I went to countless "holy" places, but to be honest, I found that a peaceful walk in the woods held more religious signfigance to me than all of the temples invented by man. It became obvious that my monastery was in my heart, right where it was all along, and so it is today. I had found my monsastery, it was within.

I live a "monastic" life, celebate, no intoxicants, and just basic possessions (with a few minor indulgences) that allow one to function in a modern world. I get by on a budget of about $7,000 a year, when you pay rent, that ain't easy (LOL)! Must note that I've taken no vow, as vows seem arrogant to me. My chastity is a product of realization, not discipline. I live this way because it is a fact of realization, I simply have absolutely no desire to live otherwise. A vow creates conflict between what you are and what you want to be, to my eyes vows have no value. If you realize the religious life rather than just adopt it, then you don't need vows.

And so it goes, 10 years and counting, and each day I'm more immersed in the religious life, each day more grateful for the joy & work that has come. I read few books, haven't read a religious text in several years, instead I rely on the realization to blossom on it's own, via the daily spontaneous meditations and kundalini activity that arises (there's nothing wrong with reading, I just don't hanker to it personally). I practice no technique for I have no reason to, it would be a hinderance. Not a single day has past in the past 10 years without the meditation coming. Some days are more intense than others, but the presence is the same.

I have no goal, no direction set, I'm not so arrogant, instead I just allow the realization to unfold in it's own natural way. I never asked for any of this, it just happened. Growing up my main desire was to have lots of money! Ironic." So, that's sort of where I'm coming from, hope all that makes sense. I'm no authority and hope anything I would write on this forum or anywhere else would be examined and questioned thoroughly albeit politely. "

So Audio Asylum, slam me if you will. But I leave knowing that what has been told to you is truth and given with honesty.

Namaste,
John



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Topic - Aloha & Farewell to the Audio Asylum..... - DancingSea 16:31:32 05/07/01 (113)


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