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24.0.115.113
In Reply to: RE: Girls calling each other "Dude" posted by nyctc7 on May 01, 2008 at 15:42:09
How can I put this in a way you'll understand:
Gentlemen,
It has come to my attention that some of us here on the hallowed ground of the Water Cooler are sternly complaining and even chastising the younger generation for their use of our English language. Decorum has gone out the window with these whippersnappers, as Michael Samara has illustrated with the unapologetic passing of gas he witnessed by a young woman at his local drugstore.
Back in my day, women did not pass gas. Ever. No. Only men passed gas....and even then, we were silent and careful to make sure that we did everything in our power to make sure no one could prove who in fact passed gas. And even if you could prove it, you pretended that no gas had been passed. Even if it were only you and one other person in an elevator, and someone passed gas, decorum prohibited us from acknowledging said passing.
How times have changed.
And now, we have women calling each other "dude". Methinks these young ignoramuses have never read Twain, who, in 1889, wrote in his book "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court".........
"... and the best of English commoners was still content to see his inferiors impudently continuing to hold a number of positions, such as lordships and the throne, to which the grotesque laws of his country did not allow him to aspire; in fact, he was even able to persuade himself that he was proud of it. It seems to show that there isn't anything you can't stand, if you are only born and bred to it. Of course that taint, that reverence for rank and title, had been in our American blood, too - I know that; but when I left America it had disappeared - at least to all intents and purposes. The remnant of it was restricted to the dudes and dudesses. When a disease has worked its way down to that level, it may fairly be said to be out of the system."
So Gentlemen, these unapologetic gas-passing women of modern times should in fact be calling each other "dudesses". But you try telling that to them. As my friend Threesox, who wears three socks on account of one of his feet perspiring more heavily than the other, so elequoently
stated, this "excessive colloquial verbiage" must be stopped. It's just ain......ummm, it isn't coo.....um,...kosh......uhh.....oh dear.....where are my Pat Boone and Lawrence Welk records?
I have to go now. The Geritrol I had earlier is taking effect.
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