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Great local restaurant review

Bwahahahaha
Here is how to best enjoy what Hometown Buffet has to offer:

1. Drive into the parking lot. Park. Witness the people who are moving in and out of the establishment. The ones shuffling in are anticipating laying down $12 for the privilege of consuming 10,000 calories in plate after plate of piles of shitty chow. They have the guilty look of sex-crime parolees walking into a porn shop or an elementary school. The ones waddling out are as bloated as dead whales on disgusting food, with eyes cast at the ground in shame and self-loathing. They appear to have lost the will to live. Some are openly weeping.

2. Go to the door. Look inside. The place seats 400! It's like an industrial-farm feedlot catering to those Americans for whom "value" is synonymous with "shit-loads." Nobody is talking -- it's like an SAT exam is going on in there. Everyone is inhaling mountains of food.

3. Walk back to your car. Go across the street to Olive Garden and order their all-you-can-eat salad for $8. It's not too bad, and relatively speaking, not bad for you, even if you have two or three helpings, and even if you get plenty of the grated parmesan cheese on top. And you don't have to forfeit a year of your life.



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Topic - Great local restaurant review - LWR 16:30:49 02/24/15 (7)

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