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Yes, I know it may be hard to believe, but we have living among us (in a field known for its clueless writing) one of most spectacularly clueless writers on classical music ever! DOCTOR of Music, David C. F. Wright, will set you straight if you've ever considered that such names as Debussy or Elgar might have been decent composers. You cannot go another minute without checking the good DOCTOR's site to gain musical insights such as you would never have dreamed of in your pitiful bourgeois life. The Brits have this national treasure - a seer and a prophet! - among them, and they've been keeping it a secret all these years! Where else would you find such nuggets as:
- The Scriabin Piano Concerto is the worst piano concerto that DOCTOR Wright knows, full of nauseous effeminacy!
- The Enigma Variations are a portrayal of Elgar's eroticism and sexual exploits!
- Debussy had no original voice and (like some other composers) spent more time on his sexual escapades than on his music!
We've all heard the story about Max Reger writing to the music critic who had penned a hostile review, with a note: "I am sitting in the smallest room in my house. Your review is now in front of me. Soon it shall be behind me." For some reason, DOCTOR Wright attributes this communication as being FROM (Charles Villiers) Stanford TO Elgar, with the latter's Cello Concerto (which, according to DOCTOR Wright, is the worst piece of music ever written in history!) substituted for the critic's review. With DOCTOR Wright furnishing innumerable anecdotes such as this one, your sense of reality will begin to lurch almost as if you were on a drug trip - everything you thought you knew about classical music will be revealed as a sham! You must read DOCTOR Wright's biographical sketches - start with the ones for Elgar and Debussy. It will change your life!!!
p.s.: I'm literally quaking in my shoes that the estimable DOCTOR Wright sees fit to praise some musicians who are my favorites too, such as Rat Eyes Reiner and Pouty Lips Ibragimova!
Follow Ups:
...yes , Florence Foster Jenkins or perhaps William McGonagall (the world's best worst poet).
It is not just the puerile assertions that started my giggling, but the inept prose style where an inability to construct logical arguments is overwhelmed by a poor grasp of grammar.
I found it helpful to assume the voice of Bluebottle when reading his (self published?) piece on RVW. It just added to the barminess of it all.
(Blubottle = classic comic character from the seminal British comedy The Goon Show as voiced by Peter Sellers).
God knows where he got his DMus from. I somehow doubt it was a kosher British music college.
Rarely will one find such depths of "jejunosity" in any subject! ;-)
Barmy as only the British can be.
JM
. . . I think what it shows is that, depending on circumstances, it may not take very much to get a doctorate in music! ;-)
What manner of sexuality is that?
=:-0
but I've never heard of THAT one!
Is it fun?
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