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Hello all! A groundbreaking report of MR eng. dept!

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Hi,

Try to find one of the latest reports from Mothra Research
engineering department. It's ~200 pages of that wonderful
white paper. All that wonderful paper can be your, can you
imagine that? Can you understand your luck? I think not,
since you haven't read it yet.
Okay, here's the brief summary of the report. Long-time
careful and rigorous researches had finally proven THE BIG
TRUTH. And the truth is that paper used in such a documents
is extremely, I mean EXTREMELY! great to use as a toilet one.
For non-audiophiles, this paper provides just a greater level
of asshole comfort, not available from other types of toilet
paper. But for audiophiles it gets much more appealing, since
using it affects aural perceptions in some special way, a very
special way... Mothra engineers even go as far as to suppose
that it's indeed that Audio Graal, a Great Nirvana which all
audiophiles are looking for so long. They have found that using
papers of ABX/DBX/AES researches in audiophile toilet leds to
ideal understanding of audio and as a result, to a guaranteed
eargasm even from $250 systems sound.
Do yourself a favor, get that report. The research is performed
according to highest standards possible and very well documented.
And afterall it's two hudreds pages of a GREAT toilet paper which
you will enjoy alot.

regards, gnat

Follow Ups:

Re: Hello all! A groundbreaking report of MR eng. dept! John E 13:20:13 03/31/01 (1)

Hello all! A groundbreaking report of MR eng. dept!

Gnat, I'm quite pleased that Mothra Research has taken the asshole comfort level up another notch, but for us audiophiles that worry about these things, are their white papers scented? I'm very fond of my car's Pina Colada scented air freshener, will MR be offering that fragrance any time soon?
Leaving a perfumed wake,
John

05:44:36 08/10/05

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05:44:35 08/10/05

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05:44:30 08/10/05

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05:44:28 08/10/05

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Re: yes and no... gnat 08:21:25 04/02/01 (0)

Re: Hello all! A groundbreaking report of MR eng. dept!

Hi, John

From page #123 of the report:
"We experimented with different flavours for paper to find
whether there is an audible effect at all and if there is
one, then what is the effect magnitude and it dependence of
different particular flavours. The answer to the first question
is definitely yes, there is a measurable and audible effect,
confirmed by double blind tests. As for effect magnitude, the
answer is that it's usually small with exclusion for some rare
cases when it is really profound and sometimes even comparable
with the effect of best Mothra power cords. One of such cases is
a flavour of quite an exotic material, namely Godsilla Urinium.
Using it provided according to our experts group, a thrilling
experience, almost a shock !"

But, from page #199:
"Marketing dept of MR have found that currently demand
for such an accessory [scientific white paper] is too low to
make its manufacturing economically viable. The recommended
marketing strategy for now is:
- First of all, to make audiophiles around the world aware
about the very existence of that white papers effect .
- Next, to support DIYers and early adopters, providing 'em
with the information about availability of such paper from
other sources, especially AES.
- Further, start producing such a paper in small quantities
@ Mothra and develop a special beta-testing program among
the most devoted enthusiasts of this accessory, with the goal
to make it the best product available.
- And finally, start a wide-scale commercial manufacturing
of Mothra white papers."

You see, John, when MR will make it's own audiophile toilet
paper, it sure will be scented. But don't hold your breath,
most probably you won't feel its smell in a near future.
I think the best we can do for now is just getting such
a paper from other sources and perform our DIY experiments
flavouring it. Good place to start seems to be that report.
My sample seem to be scented with... sniff, sniff... ummm
something like Rodan shit I think... Of course, it also makes
sense to contact Mothra about participation in their future
beta-testing program.

regards, gnat

22:55:51 08/09/05

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22:55:45 08/09/05

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