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In Reply to: RE: Wife self destructing posted by Awe-d-o-file on September 14, 2016 at 18:43:32
We tend to disagree on a lot of things. I might actually side with your wife if I heard her side of the story which won't be happening. Despite this, divorces are not fun and typically a disaster for both parties. The one with the greater income usually suffers the most. Been there done that many years ago.
I find it strange that your financial situation could get so out of hand without your knowledge. You must have let her have complete control of the finances. I recommend one person paying the bills and the other acting as auditor. I recommend looking at bank accounts on a regular basis, at least weekly.
Anyway, good luck. I remember thinking that whatever it cost me, I was better off without my first wife. We only lasted a couple of years- bad choice to begin with. On number 2 and going on 38 years. I think I'll keep this one. It can be done successfully.
One last thing. You keep saying that she is "only on heart medication". I don't know, but there could be effects.
Follow Ups:
... she starts acting like she's in cognitive decline. Don't know about heart meds but perhaps they have an effect as well.
Thanks again for the kind words.I've been in a hospital or a rehab center as know for one year now as of yesterday. Hard to monitor anything. I was able to put the fires out. Goodness knows what the house looks like. I shudder to think. I hope my hi fi is still there and intact. Hard to worry about stuff when she's where she is now. I wish her the best even with all this.
ET
"If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed" - Curly Howard 1936
I don't know what kind of connectivity you have to your bank. I can see my bank accounts as easily as I can see this forum. Maybe you don't have that. You should have that especially in your condition.
Also, you say that the house and various things are in your name only. I don't know what state you live in, but in a community property state, things in your name are half hers at least the portion involving the years you were married. In other words, if you were married 10 years and the house was mortgaged for 20, she I'd entitled to 50% of 50%. You would need to do the actual math. I had to sell my house and split the equity 50/50 with my first wife. I had purchased a first house, sold that, and got transferred by my company. I put the money from the first house into the second. She got 50% of the sale of the second house. I tried to buy her out of the house. She refused because she didn't want me to have the house.
I paid off all of her student loans in the two years we were married- good for her- no credit for that.
I agree with others that you need a good lawyer to help figure out where you are vs. where you might think you are.
Thanks for the good legal comments. I will be fine. I am getting a lawyer. I don't believe in online banking. Especially on this Android tablet.
Things were getting bad so I separated things before the accident. I took her off my business accounts. CDs and an earlier 401K are in my name only.
I am concerned about her though.
ET
"If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed" - Curly Howard 1936
The reason for the lawyer is to get you calibrated. All of this separating things as you see it doesn't work in a community property state. Again, I don't know where you are other that somewhere west of DC. What is yours is likely hers too. It doesn't matter whose "name its in". Your lawyer can clear this all up for you.
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