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Pretty good.
The chili thing is a good idea!
I like the underwear one and the signature. Is it for men? What the heck exactly is "nice underwear" for men? Who steals men's underwear anyway? Hard to believe a guy would do that. If it's a woman who wrote it (the language/expressions seems more like it's from a guy), then I at least understand the action better...
My dad beat her home from work and was apparently too hungry to wait for dinner. He found what he thought was some corned beef hash in the frig. When my mom got home, she set about feeding the dog. "Honey have you seen the half bowl of dog food the dog didn't finish this morning? I can't find it." My dad said it was pretty tasty.
your story reminds me of the time someone woke up very hungover and tried, in that fog, to brush his teeth. Ben-Gay makes for lousy toothpaste.
Nt
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