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108.27.17.93
A wife and husband were home one night, it was around dinner time
the wife was in the kitchen, the husband was in the living room right near the kitchen
the husband heard his wife say "Love, what do you want to eat for dinner tonight, chicken, fish or steak?"
the man sitting on his leather recliner smiles and says "thank you, I'll have the chicken"
the wife says, "you are having soup asshole, I was talking to the cat!"
Follow Ups:
Hysterical agony.
if you have a good marriage, she calls you asshole in a caring way ;)
A husband and wife were sitting outside enjoying a glass of wine and enjoying the sunset.
The wife says, "I love you so. You've been with me for oh so many years, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. You are my rock, and I can't imagine life without you."
The husband says, "Is that you talking, or the wine?"
The wife responds, "It's me. Talking about the wine."
rlindsa
A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition going, everyone got drunk and the bride and groom's families had a storming row and started wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out of each other, the Police were called in to break up the fight.
The following week, all members of both families appear in court.
The fight continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings silence with the use of his hammer, shouting, "Silence in Court!"
The court room goes silent and Paddy, the best man, stands up and say's. "Judge... I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened."
The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand.
Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the best man gets the first dance with the Bride.
The Judge says," OK".
"Well," said Paddy, "after I had finished the first dance, the music kept going so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song...when all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates."
The Judge instantly responded, "God... that must have hurt!"
Paddy replies; "HURT!!... he broke three of my bloody fingers"
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