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My wife and I were sitting at a table at our 20th high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging drink after drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked: "Do you know her?" "Yes" I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" exclaimed my wife. "Who would think that a person could go on celebrating that long."
Follow Ups:
So, when your ex wakes up the next day, she'll be sober but you'll still be you.
Sounds about right!
"Once this was all Black Plasma and Imagination" - Michael McClure
we share, we also share enormous independence. We have so very much in common and yet we both follow our particular muse and revel in the joy the other has pursuing them.
Part of the formula is laughing out loud together a few times a day, it truly is the best medicine. There has never been a raised voice, an accusation or reprimand uttered under this roof or out and about.
It was love from first sight on top of a pyramid in the Yucatan and the vision just gets better and better.
She is a strong woman and kind and considerate beyond belief.
I am a very lucky person.
...she's the greatest woman in the world - smart, attractive, great sense of humor, can be the life of the party, enjoys most of the same things I do and always up for a good time.
Best is that she has put up with me for 32 years and taught me how to be a better husband and father.
I didn't get married until I was 35 so that was a challenge for her, but she stuck it out.
and YES - 45 years in January
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to" Mark Twain
Second time around was a charm. (First time out didn't go so well, I must admit.)
Gotta know yourself, though. Won't know what you really need in a mate unless you know yourself. And many folks play hide and seek with themselves to avoid confronting personal flaws and deficiencies (what flaws? what deficiencies? I hear the assembled AA members collectively wondering.) :-)
Only when I was painfully open to deep soul-searching and self-criticism (after I finally actually LISTENED and took what my ex-wife and our marriage counselor said about me to heart) did I discover many critical things about myself that I had been hiding from as an adult (self-deception for ego protection on many levels and myriad ways is incredibly common.)
Unflinchingly admitting and then confronting these issues allowed me to become the best person I could, and really understand what made me tick. And from that I was able to finally discern who I really was, and even more importantly, what I truly needed in a person for them to be an ideal mate. I then set out methodically to find that person.
Funny thing is, I didn't find her; rather, she found me (on a little known dating site that I believe no longer exists.) Been on an upward spiral ever since.
However, I must admit: luck can have an awful lot to do with it. And I was lucky. Very, very lucky. A week or two later posting on that site and who knows? Somebody else may have come along and been the lucky one.
So luck is always HUGE in both life and love.
Of course, getting yourself into a position to 'get lucky' is a big part of being lucky. You cannot win unless you play the game (as the siren-song advertisements for state lotteries remind us constantly.)
But if you play, you better know yourself well and true to protect your real, fundamental core needs and interests, and find a person who compliments you in enough areas to make a life-long marriage a real possibility.
Best of luck to everyone, and may you all find bliss whatever your situation.
Cheers,
WS
My ex-wife used to complain that her toes would curl every time we had sex. With each thrust her toes would curl down and with each withdrawal her toes would straighten out again.
Took her to the doctor and after about 10 minutes the doctor came out to the waiting room and introduced himself.
"Good news sir, your wife seems to be just fine."
"Doc, that's great! What was the problem?""
"Just make sure to take her panty hose off before having sex..."
.
I'm thinking a lot about why / how come we are still together. Our son Robert gets married, on Saturday, November 1st.Any good marriage that survives has 'survived' fights and drawings apart, IME&O. I know lots of apparently smooth marriages that don't 'survive.
So, I wouldn't think that economic / career stress is necessarily a deal-breaker would I? Can get damn close though! A marriage you both have to work at might fail, but it can strengthen bonds. And then there's ones own and her beliefs about making it work.
Patricia and I share a deep attachment to classical music, books, ideas etc. We don't always agree, mind!
Viz, last night Patricia wanted to see a performance of that old chestnut ballet 'La Fille mal Gardee'.
Towards which, having looked it up I had a resigned attitude. I don't quite dig a lot of 19C opera for similar reasons. * The Australian and British production tradition / history for this piece is expect-ably euphemistic / bowdlerised as "the Wayward girl"; the music is Herold's and arranged by Lanchberry, there's a 'Pantomime-dame' as the scheming widowed mother doing a chicken-dance!!!!!, provincial town/village, farmers, and so Timbo was not expecting to enjoy himself. But, it is a core piece of ballet repertoire. Ashton and Lanchberry.
*See here -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_fille_mal_gard%C3%A9e_%28Ashton%29We had a simple one-course & one-glass meal at a much favoured Italian place across from the theatre precinct, during which I was asked about that afternoon's tour/group. Trisha asks good questions!
Then we walked over to The Canberra Theatre, and unusually we held hands, my idea.
Well now? Spectacular dancing, pretty girls, nice legs, good figures and lots of nickers, and a not entirely silly plot. And the widow was very funny.
I enjoyed it.
More than that, I realised in ways I couldn't list, why it has endured within ballet. Good for the entire WA Ballet and the Qld Ballet's dancers, who combined to do it. While there were a few pas de deux, a lot more ensemble work, which was very engaging. Very south of France sets and costumes.
Bring back frilly petticoats, I say.
http://www.hismajestystheatre.com.au/eventDisplay.aspx?ID=1424
It is good when she takes you out!
Warmest
Tim Bailey
Skeptical Measurer & Audio Scrounger
Edits: 10/17/14 10/17/14 10/17/14 10/17/14
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;-)!
Warmest
Tim Bailey
Skeptical Measurer & Audio Scrounger
Very heart-warming and real. Quite nice to read.
Best of luck to you both. :-)
a hell of a lot better than any alternative.
:-)
Warmest
Tim Bailey
Skeptical Measurer & Audio Scrounger
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Well, heck. Sometimes, ya just never know.
At my 20 year high school reunion, I ran into a very hot girl that I knew back then. We talked and danced. I said, "I always wanted to ask you out." She said "I would've gone out with you."
Dang, NOW she tells me!
:)
And maybe not so subtle. She really hates you.
When my was wife was leaving me I asked her: "honey- what about all that good lovin' you were getting here??"She replied: "I packed it!"
Edits: 10/17/14
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Funny.
A guy was sitting in a great section of the stadium during a World Series game. He noticed the man sitting next to him had an unused ticket sticking out his pocket, and an empty seat on his other side.
"Excuse me, but that's an expensive ticket there going to waste. What's the story?"
"My wife and I bought these awhile back, but she died."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but couldn't you find other family or a friend to bring?"
"They're all at the funeral."
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