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In the past year I had only one, yes just one friend appreciate my system. He is a very wealthy individual, earns 100x more than me. My other friends just shrug their shoulders and tell me to get a life.
I guess I know who I will be hanging out with more...
Any of you also get this sense of isolation because you are passionate about music and its reproduction?
Most of the time I am alone traveling within when I listen, rarely can I get another to join me...
Follow Ups:
Moved the rig to the family room and adapted it to do HT. not so lonely anymore.
It ain't gonna happen in this hobby.........
Basically we (audiophiles) are a splinter faction of sub-culture.
If it's acceptance your after, you may want to try another hobby such as golf, roller blading, or boating/fishing. I participate with my friends in all of those as they have a more "broad base appeal".
I have been involved in martial arts for years. My friends have no idea why any sane person would subject themselves to such a hobby/dicipline, and as such I do not waste my or their time trying to convince them of the virtues of it.
"Alone Traveling within" - That must be some damm good smoke you have there!
........I was a vegetarian for 15 minutes... until the main course.
I only listen to my system with the very best of my friends... usually my dog!
The main beauty of music lies in its ability to bring people together in the act of sharing. That's why we love going to concerts and live performances. It's the wave of happiness we all feel when the orchestra/band is playing in front of us, and we all get engulfed in a warm group hug.
Building a home stereo system is an attempt to replicate that magic state. A lot of my friends, upon hearing my system for the first time, get very impressed, even startled by the liveliness and the incredible presence of the music reproduction. They then gush about the beauty of the music reproduction. I truly enjoy such moments, the same as I enjoy the moments when we're all together at a live performance.
However, one thing that's puzzling to me is that rarely do any of my friends ever ask for a repeat experience. Next time they come over, they barely ever mention my sound system, and the discussion and the activities turn toward something else. I find that very, very surprising, and I don't know how to explain it.
There's only a couple of my friends who do come back for more of those listening sessions, however they are already audiophiles. But the regular folks do not get the bug once they experience the amazing possibilities that a well built audio system can offer.
Can somebody riddle us that?
We get together frequently, usually rotating the place each time or when someone gets something new and wants to demo it for us. It is as much about getting together and having a beer and some discussion as it is about listening and evaluating. Normally it is 3 or more of us at one time getting together.
Of course I also listen frequently at home by myself.
The 2ch sweet spot is ideal for one person. It is a solitary activity. Know of any families where the members fight to sit in the sweet spot? I don't. Contrast 2ch with the pursuit of Home Theater. From the beginning HT has been marketed as a group and family activity. Movie Night at home, kids having a slumber party with scary movies etc etc. Another issue is space. A dedicated 2ch system requires its own space to be enjoyed to its fullest extent. Very few spouses are tolerant of multiple electronic boxes and large speakers dominating the living room. But HT has spousal buy in, hence acceptance in the living room or den.
Best. Ross
I appreciate all the comments here. It seems as a poster has said it's more like reading a book, some have a more festive experience than others, but if you look at it like reading a book it makes more sense. At least to me it is an isolated experience/hobby. Like reading esoteric material, you can explain what you are reading to people, but most won't get it, or even care.It's like talking about quantum psysics to an ape! They just won't get it.
Edits: 06/26/12
fortunately, I never feel like my system isolates me.Set your system up in a common area where others can enjoy it and use it. I don't let my kids use my turntable (at some point I will), but I'm all too happy to let them control our computer-based music via iPad app. They enjoy cuing up music as much as I do.
Also... It helps to have a sense of humor about this hobby. I never try to convince people that what I've spent should make sense to them. ..By freely admitting it's a frivolous obsession people move on and don't denigrate me for it. After all, if someone owns a Mercedes, a Rolex, or even a Mount Blanc pen then they too have engaged in frivolous spending; most reasonable people generally see the hypocrisy in being super critical.
Edits: 06/25/12 06/25/12
...therefore it's not an issue for me. Once, when I bought my first stereo twenty five years ago, I played music on it for my brother (who's a musician) and his wife. They sat listening without comment on either the music or sonic qualities. As a result, I never bothered to repeat the experience with anyone.
“Any of you also get this sense of isolation because you are passionate about music and its reproduction?”
Not at all..... Quite the contrary, in fact...... I have no problem discussing music with mainstreamers....... (In spite of frequent disagreement.) The audio gear part rarely enters such conversation, but then again, I’ve always taken this hobby as ‘music first’- The gear is the facilitator, not the main attraction. I get then most satisfaction whenever the listener voices interest in some music that he just listened to for the very first time.
People of various backgrounds visit my place, and the reactions to the audio systems are all over the map....... The most-recent one was an A/C tech who took a visual liking to the “100 dB Club” system, and then asked me if I had any music by Pit Bull........ He wanted to listen to that on the system. I kindly answered “No, I don't have any Pit Bull”...... (He asked if I’d play Pit Bull if he brought some CDs, and I said ‘of course’..... ) He did voice interest in listening to music at my place on his free time, I’ve yet to follow up, however. Just too busy......
I do have quite a few listeners drop by for listening already. Five regulars, as of now. (I visit their places as well.) Spirits (champagne or cabernet) and food is optional.
Heck, there is also a local designer here in Phoenix who wants me to audition and review his signature amplifier........ (Since this individual is not well known right now, and I have no opinion of the sonic performance of the product, I will not disclose names. I will only say the fit and finish would wow patrons if the product were to be displayed at a high-end audio show.)
So there’s a lot on my plate when it comes to sharing the audio/music experience...... Maybe I'm fortunate, but I don't ever recall any isolation, in regard to the hobby of audio.
.
I had that until the turntable.
With the TT, friends come over and we sit around drinking wine, spinning a few LP's and talking and sometimes listening. Never happened with CD's and Digital.
So while it was a solitary activity, or one enjoyed with my wife. It is now much more social.
I also have it in the main room.
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad"
nt.
I have a number of audiophile friends. Three of them independently of any influence on my part, and two of them somewhat infected by my passion (though admittedly both of them were music lovers already, one was a college DJ, and one a drummer, and both sort of gear heads, so they were easy prey). And my wife loves music, and my hobby predated her, so she's OK with it, even enjoys it so long as I'm not in one of my occasional bouts of audio-nervosa. Most of friends think it's not for them, but none of them are condescending about it . . . at least not without humor.
___
"If you are the owner of a new stereophonic system, this record will play with even more brilliant true-to-life fidelity. In short, you can purchase this record with no fear of its becoming obsolete in the future."
Sometimes people who are passionate about music are not passionate about its reproduction. Many, in fact. Maybe most...
Get it sure the gears to large and costly for them to own. But heck even the blue hairs will dance or mention the great sound. My grand-kids bust a move my wife sings alone. My adult son assembled his own DIY system. Even my mom has a basic audiophile system. Now I do know many in this hobby that restrict accessible to there systems or if allowed near your watched like a hawk. This greatly turns people off. And I feel can lead to the loaner audiophile living in isolation. Not me let the kids have at it. I will buy build,whats hard to break and is fun for all.
I look at listening the same way I do fly fishing ...its something I prefer to do alone anyway.
Dean.
reelsmith's axiom: Its going to be used equipment when I sell it, so it may as well be used equipment when I buy it.
...ain't big enough to share. I have plenty of time around others, most days. When I close the door to room, I hope to not be bothered. My music and gear have always been a solo experience, other than the occasional two minute demo when someone sees the system and asks. I've met few who can sit through more than a couple of minutes. Sure, they like what they hear, but few casual listeners can sit still very long. And I understand; for most it's not comfortable sitting between a pair of speakers with someone else hanging out.
It's the rare occasion when I actually think about sharing my music system with anyone. It's a solo ride to me, and I have no interest in trying to impress anyone with it.
Now, the Home Theater rig is a different story. That does get shared often.
See ya. Dave
I have some friends with audio interests due partly to my semiprofessional status but the majority of my friends have little or no interest in it. Some of them, otoh, are passionate about other things that hold lesser or no interest for me. We do, however, share some interests and have appreciation for each others passions.
More like meditation for me. Necessary recharging time.
I use listening to recharge as well. It is a non-destructive drug to help me melt away the day. I will however augment the session on occasion with a single malt scotch. Listening is my nightly last event before hitting the pillow. I don't care if anybody else appreciates my system or not. All my setup work and equipment selection was to satisfy me, and only me. I have shown the system to a few people but I'm not looking for a listening partner or any validation. My wife sits in once in awhile and that is fine. I will even give up the sweet spot, but it is usually only me. I like it that way.
Most people who enjoy reading books don't so as a group event, though they may talk about the book with others afterwards.
Same thing with a woodworker, painter or people with many other serious pursuits -- the most intense periods are often solo.
Presumably you interact with people in other aspects of your life. Don' t worry about it.
Constructive post, I applaud you.
Well you have just discovered the vast superiority of very rich friends, congrats!
take drugs and alcohol, scream and shout over the music, walk on the heads and shoulders of other people in a big crowd, and lose touch with reality by being in a complete stoned stupor.
None of this can help you introduce a person to good sound in your home unless you provide that same experience.
There's the secret why high end audio is for nerds behaving "normally" like us. Of course there are some into audio not necessarily for listening, but recreating their loud stoned parties for themselves. They, too, are all alone.
Let me be alone from them often.
Now, don't get me wrong. Being weird or "unique" is not necessarily a bad thing. But, to spend one's spare time indulging oneself in "hifi" pleasures really says something about you as an individual - at least nowadays. Enjoy.
"He was one of those men who live in poverty so that their lines of questioning may continue." - John Steinbeck
I spend several hours (alone) each evening listening to my music. Not as background but - listening!!
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to" Mark Twain
I think it is highly relevant to the OP. Back in the late 80s I happened to meet a young fellow while we were looking in the window of high-end lp store in the SF Valley. We got to talking the conversation got around to sharing our respective music systems. It became immediately apparent that he was a serious audio enthusiast. I gave him my card, told him that I would love to hear his system and to call me if he would ever like to share a listening experience.
He did call me and a few weeks later I was treated to an unforgettable listening experience. He had built a dedicated listening room in his garage that was filled with an array of wonderful equipment and carefully placed room treatment. I could swear that Ricki Lee Jones was in the room with us as she sung from he POP POP album. Her voice/body seemed so palpable that I could reach out and touch her. Since I had never met Ms Jones I felt it best that keep my hands to myself.
Later I asked my friend how many others, including fellow audiophiles had heard his system.
His answer, two. You and me. He went on to explain that he put too much time, effort and
commitment in his project to subject it to the casual remarks, criticisms and well intentioned
comments of others.
I would add, guests talking, i.e. not listening when the music is on. I am very much the same way as my friend when it comes to sharing my music unless I'm simply playing light jazz as background music during a dinner party.
I am well aware that 99% of the pop. do not critically listen to music in the same manner as audiophiles. I have no problem with that at all but I'm still not going to demo my system for folks who would rather talk or use the occasion to tell me how good their music sounds over their iPod dock.
I've learned to simply smile and change the subject unless the guest truly has a desire to experience home music in an entirely new way. That is very rare indeed.
THis is my little chunk of the Universe. Private stay out.
Period.
No visitors allowed
Trespassers will be shot.
Did I mention you are not welcome here???
lol
Elizabeth, I want to publicly thank you for having me over for a listening session. You have a wonderful music system and I hope you didn't take acceptation when I referred to it as promising work in progress.
BTW, I am compiling a list of suggestions that I think you may find helpful for improving your SQ. I'm now on the second page. Even though you were resistant, I still think that little clock that people used to plug into their room sockets would bring great benefits.
I sure hope you're smiling.
"take acceptation": maybe Elizabeth will take exception to your spelling though.
A very astute observation. Yep, I misspelled "exception". It's comforting to know
that there is a human spell check function on AA. Of course, correcting spelling errors and grammatical errors on AA would give you little time for anything else.
.
Hope you didn't take offense. I enjoy your posts and I like your sense of humor so I thought this might give you a chuckle. Also, Jus sayin.
...with audiophiles anymore.I'm not that interested in new equipment and haven't upgraded in over ten years.
I hang out listening to music with a couple of friends who like music and enjoy listening to it on my system.
Whenever we have people over for dinner or someone new comes over, we always end up in the music room listening to their favorites.
Otherwise it can be a solitary pursuit - my wife is busy doing other things and seldom joins me anymore, the way she did 25 years ago before we had kids.
Edits: 06/24/12
"My other friends just shrug their shoulders and tell me to get a life."
Who knows you better than your friends?
It's a personal quest. I experience this reality in my own head, only I and creator know me best IMHO.
Getting a life is overrated these days.
"I experience this reality in my own head, only I and creator know me best IMHO."
IMHO? Are your certain this does not require another intervention with your friends?
"Getting a life is overrated these days."
See, that wasn't hard to say. Now, go ahead and tell your friends.
...Dude, yeah that sounds great, I'll post it on facebook to all my "friends". I'll tell everyone at the shooting range about it, and I'll ask what they think because I really need to be validated by my "friends". I am a narcissist like the 99% of the apes on this planet who call themselves humans.
you got your head up your ass!
Edits: 06/26/12
"I am a narcissist like the 99% of the apes on this planet who call themselves humans.
you got your head up your ass!"
Yeah, percentages aside, it's your unprovoked admission to being a narcissist that's troubling.
Here is a few pics of my former dedicated listening room. Was very pleased with the end result but the bottom line, I did feel isolated and spent very little time there.Now that my new system is in the den I listen to music way more than in my former room and am enjoying it more. That's just me.
Edits: 06/24/12
Now that my new system is in the den I listen to music way more than in my former room [isolation chamber] and am enjoying it more. That's just me.
Good for you!
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