Classical Court

Posted by Brian Cheney (i) on June 22, 2000 at 08:09:25:

In view of the rapid deterioration of this board into discord I suggest the following solution: from now on I do the opinionising, and you fellows chime in. I have run this through the AI simulator and arrived at the following sample thread which you'll have to agree is a huge step forward over the current level of violence and acrimony:

BIG B: Good morning, Courtiers! Nice weather we're having!
ALL: It so seldom rains here!
PATRICK: Say, I have an important question. Who's better: Jascha Heifetz, or that geezer on Hee Haw?
EDTA: Let's ask Big B, he's so right.
BINAYAK: Right as rain.
ALLEN: Right as they come.
ETDA: Right as a sheet!
BIG B: Well Heifetz is good, but Grandpaw really makes that fiddle bark!
ROB: you can mix beer, schnaps, and gunpowder...
SPL: I really like my moniker, it's loud, powerful, and ALL CAPS...
ROB: four liters beer, two liters schnaps, 200g gunpowder, shaken not stirred...
THE REAL DAVE: Bruno roolz, Stravinsky droolz!
SPL: You wouldn't say that if you read "Lives of the Great Composers" five times like me.
THE REAL DAVE: Stravinsky couldn't conduct a bus!
ROB: guzzll...dorp...whzzz
PATRICK: Say, I bought a brandnew postwar Yugo Milosevich from BIG B for only $17,900. Course I already had seats and a transmission...
EDTA: What a deal! What "extras" did you get?
PATRICK: Passenger Side Schrapnel, and the National Lack of Restraint System!
BIG B: Whoda thunk you'd love something named for the Butcher of Kosovo THAT much!
BINAYAK: I joined BIG B Medical Group, and I'm one happy customer! You know how difficult it is to find a doctor who specializes in Diseases of the Rich!!
ROB: helpimlostinmybathroom
BIG B: Thank you, Binayak, for your stylishly agreeable post! I must say you're a treasurable asset to this board!
BINAYAK: Thanks, Boss...
JORGE: Big B, is it true you introduced the World League of American Football to my native Portugal? What a guy!
BIG B: Had to, couldn't watch people in shorts chase a volleyball for hours while stupified fans kill each other!
JORGE: The Scottish Claymores just beat the Frankfurt Galaxy. Literally.
BIG B: Those Claymores can sting alright!

Etc ad nauseum.

Now go ahead, ASK ME SOMETHING.

Big B

Follow Ups:

• Top 100 classical recordings , label and album number! edta 20:04:11 06/22/00 (1)
  • Re: Top 100 classical recordings , label and album number! Brian Cheney 20:35:46 06/22/00 (0)
• BTW, can you please reply to the Bruckner 9th tread below ? Jorge F 14:00:08 06/22/00 (8)
  • Re: BTW, can you please reply to the Bruckner 9th tread below ? Brian Cheney 17:43:23 06/22/00 (3)
    • Sorry Sir, won't happen again (nt) Jorge F 23:02:24 06/22/00 (0)
    • Re: BTW, can you please reply to the Bruckner 9th tread below ? dpy 18:05:23 06/22/00 (1)
      • Re: BTW, can you please reply to the Bruckner 9th tread below ? Brian Cheney 19:07:08 06/22/00 (0)
  • Re: BTW, can you please reply to the Bruckner 9th tread below ? pepys 14:17:36 06/22/00 (3)
    • Did anybody mention Bruckner? Jorge F 14:44:18 06/22/00 (2)
      • Re: Did anybody mention Bruckner? pepys 15:05:14 06/22/00 (1)
        • Well Jorge F 22:57:48 06/22/00 (0)
• Nice to see you're in good shape! (nt) Jorge F 13:52:30 06/22/00 (0)
• you can mix beer, schnaps, and gunpowder... PaulN 13:26:36 06/22/00 (0)
• We're not worthy! Joe II-K 13:01:21 06/22/00 (0)
• Re: Agreeableness Binayak Bhattacharyya 08:38:36 06/22/00 (2)
  • Is it available on MP3 ? (nt) Jorge F 13:51:28 06/22/00 (0)
  • Gentlemen, please. patrick S 08:58:29 06/22/00 (0)
• A fine performance, with excellent sound. May I go to the bathroom, please? (nt) patrick S 08:20:32 06/22/00 (1)
  • ROTFL ! (nt) Jorge F 13:49:36 06/22/00 (0)