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A Real Life Tragedy.......

Years ago I became friends with a truly great audiophile and a wonderful person. He was married, had a couple of kids, and was a very successful professional. Busy guy.

But this gentleman was a real cutting edge audiophile, sharp as a tack, and posted some simply killer tweaks over in the Tweaks Asylum, where we met. Later on, we got together in person at a mutual audiophile's very nice home, we had a great dinner, and then as dessert was in the offing, I decided to talk audio a wee bit.

Big mistake!

My friend's wife cut me the absolute coldest, death-to-you-scum look I have ever openly received. Then she made clear, and I mean CLEAR, that audio was NOT going to be discussed at the table.

Well, me being me, I took that as a challenge. So, I ignored her roundly and continued with my inquiry, as if she hadn't said a word. I mean, who the hell is she to tell us/me what can and cannot be discussed?

My friend became somewhat visibly distraught, and suggested we excuse ourselves later for audio talk. Now that he had chimed in, I withdrew my query, apologized, and said, "No problem". So it was then back to the absolutely thrilling conversation about kids and school and some other earth-shattering topics that many women seem inexorably drawn to. I was completely enthralled......NOT!

But I bit my tongue, waiting for the dessert to end so we could go and enjoy our he-man audio talk. Yet somehow, when we men left to go share our audio lore and wisdom, the party quickly concluded and the audio part got short shrift in favor of kids needing to be tucked in, etc., etc.

On the way home, I commented on all this to my wife. who mentioned, "You know, she HATES audio. She doesn't want him involved in it at all, and she'd like it if he quit the hobby for her and the family."

I wasn't surprised in the least. She was clearly disgusted when I swung the men's talk in that direction at dessert, and then furious when I overrode her and continued with the topic over her objections.

In the years that passed after that dinner, I was strangely never invited to gatherings, and my friend's e-mails to me became more and more brief and infrequent, only letting me know in very short terms that his wife would not let him set up his system ANYWHERE, as there simply wasn't room (or so she claimed.)

When he bought a new place for his family with much more space, I was totally stoked for him, and said, "NOW, finally, you'll have the space for your system, eh?" His response was, "Well, I sure hope so. That was the idea, at least in part."

Yet, as the months passed by, somehow there still wasn't room for his system, even in the new digs, and only time for the kids, work and her, and NEVER any time for his old audio buddies.

Less than a year later I learned through a mutual friend that he had died in his study, working (as usual) on his weekend. He was found at his desk, lifeless and cold, by his son. I was speechless.......... with ANGER!

I knew exactly what he died of: a broken dream and stymied life. His passion (audio and music) was allowed to wane, falter, and ultimately flicker out. His wife had stolen his energy and directed it towards HER goals, rather than simply SHARING his life with him, and giving him the freedom to also enjoy what brought him so very much pleasure and joy. To see this great fellow's face when he talked audio was to see a man truly proud and passionate about his hobby in a way I rarely encountered in my life. And he was BRILLIANT at it, too! Really a top-tier mind achieving truly high-end results with his incredibly creative DIY builds and tweaked out system.

And now he's gone.

I've never mentioned this to our mutual friend, as his wife and the deceased's wife are still very close friends. But this is my way of venting at the loss of a great man to a selfish woman who simply couldn't share in his joy and passion about audio, so she squelched it for her own ends.

So, to answer your query: NEVER allow ANY woman to squelch your passion, EVER! If she tries, you know she's a selfish BITCH who will suck the life energy from you and leave you at best an empty shell, and at worst, in your grave prematurely.

Just my two cents.......

(And I still miss my friend, and grieve to this day.... )

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