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In Reply to: RE: What you say when the wife/SO asks "You bought more CD's?" posted by BobM on April 18, 2008 at 06:39:13
Bob,
When you said: "Personally I think that if you have to make excuses for your hobby/passion then you're in the wrong relationship." I had to agree with you 100%!
When I was younger and before I got married to the beautiful Colombian woman I'm now married to, I could always tell ---via comments made about my audio system--- when a woman I was dating had began viewing our relationship as having serious potential for marriage. How so?
Well when we'd I first seriously date a woman I'd bring her home so I could cook her a nice Italian dinner and then later after dinner we'd move over to the couch for some nice wine, conversation and cuddling. As I'd turn on the audio system, I'd notice the woman looking the audio system over and calculating in her head what it MUST cost! Inevitably a question followed by a statement would always occur.
The question was always: "How much did all that cost?" Which I'd honestly answer.
The statement that followed was always: I'd never let my husband spend that much money on a stereo! To which I replied well we're not married and that's exactly why I bought it before getting married!
Now if the woman I was dating and I had any sort of real spark we'd obviously continue dating. Many a night we'd return to my home before the night was over to cuddle on the couch and listen to some romantic music. And "IF" the woman had begun viewing our relationship as having serious potential for marriage, I noticed the comments about my audio system changed to this: "You know what Tom? The more I think about it, I like this audio hobby you have!" See the difference? But what caused the difference of opinion?
She was looking at the relationship long term i.e., marriage as opposed to simply dating! To this woman the $$$$ was already spent on the audio system, which in her eyes was a big plus ---little do they know about this hobby, huh? But more than that as opposed to hunting, fishing, biking, camping, cars and virtually every other manly hobby I can think about, enjoying my audio system requires I stay home in the house with her! To any woman looking at a man as a potential mate that's another BIG plus.
After you get married like I did. On the very rare occasion my wife complains I spend too much on CDs I reminder her I don't go out to bars drinking with friends. Also I don't smoke or drink @ $4.00-5.00 a pack for butts & $5.00 and up for a six-pack of beer. I showed her how one or two packs daily ---of either--- equals somewhere between $120-$300 monthly and you have NOTHING to show for the $$$$$ invested! That makes the two or three CDs I buy a month ---usually used @ $8.00 a CD--- seem quite cheap by comparison. Whenever I get a new audio component I ask my wife to come and bring her favorite CD and tell me what she thinks. That does two very important things which so few other masculine cars, fishing, hunting etc fail to do 1) it gets her involved & even more importantly 2) it shows I value her opinion on my hobby!
If you have a wife who still complains after that, then I believe Bob said it right if you have to make excuses for your hobby/passion then you're in the wrong relationship!
Thetubeguy1954
A Rational Subjectivist
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