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Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?

24.193.47.168
Posted on May 3, 2015 at 15:15:53
Matthew G.
Audiophile

Posts: 413
Joined: June 9, 2000
 Let's say you had a stereo system you loved and a woman you loved, and said woman really, really wanted to redesign the living space in a way that was incompatible with the system. What would you do?

 

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RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 15:24:38
hesson11
Audiophile

Posts: 2281
Location: Florida
Joined: December 8, 2005
 It depends. Does she love me back?

-Bob

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 15:34:52
Matthew G.
Audiophile

Posts: 413
Joined: June 9, 2000
 As far as you know. :)

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 15:49:01
stehno
Manufacturer

Posts: 739
Location: Oregon
Joined: November 8, 2001
 As with all things, one must look at something's potential as well as its actual. IOW, I'd have to consider if her insistence to have things her way was in check or just getting getting warmed up.

If by living space you meant the entire dwelling or just one or more of the main or common rooms. No problem here because I'd want a dedicated space all to my own anyway and for which I would design.

But most important, I'd have to consider whether or not she has talents in design (and elsewhere) in the first place.

The fact that she completely overlooked the significance of a real world living situation (my hobby), leads me to believe her designs talents and/or thoroughness, though perhaps interesting, are lacking when it comes to real world application. In which case I'd have no choice but throw her out into the street because shortsighted designers are a dime a dozen. Unless of course her other talents more than made up for her short-sighted design talents. In which case, goodbye system. :)

 

Buy headphones and condoms. nt, posted on May 3, 2015 at 15:50:00
viridian
 nt

 

No question about it., posted on May 3, 2015 at 15:54:15
Self-Inflicted
Audiophile

Posts: 1207
Joined: January 4, 2008
 ....I'd kick her out.

Regards,
Mike.

 

RE: No question about it., posted on May 3, 2015 at 16:02:16
Awe-d-o-file
Dealer

Posts: 21037
Location: 50 miles west of DC
Joined: January 10, 2004
 Excellent, like Steve Martin did to Kathleen Turner in "Man with two Brains"?


E
T

ET

"If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed" - Curly Howard 1936

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 16:05:00
hesson11
Audiophile

Posts: 2281
Location: Florida
Joined: December 8, 2005
 Actually, I know that she does not, so I guess my official answer would be "no." :-)
-Bob

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 16:32:47
FenderLover
 You have a photo of this living-stereo room?

No compromise is possible?

 

Couldn't love that woman. (nt)., posted on May 3, 2015 at 16:42:04
reelsmith.
Audiophile

Posts: 13134
Location: CT
Joined: June 7, 2005
Contributor
  Since: January 19, 2010
 .


reelsmith's axiom: Its going to be used equipment when I sell it, so it may as well be used equipment when I buy it.


 

RE: No question about it., posted on May 3, 2015 at 16:48:58
jec01
Audiophile

Posts: 1462
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Joined: September 22, 2004
 Or like Steve Martin at the link.

Happy listening,

Jim

"The passage of my life is measured out in shirts."
- Brian Eno

 

+1 nt, posted on May 3, 2015 at 16:49:53
jec01
Audiophile

Posts: 1462
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Joined: September 22, 2004
 nt

Happy listening,

Jim

"The passage of my life is measured out in shirts."
- Brian Eno

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 17:15:32
painter27
Audiophile

Posts: 5057
Location: wi.
Joined: January 7, 2003
 My question is, why did you marry her in the first place?

 

RE: Adios Senorita.., posted on May 3, 2015 at 17:31:08
BCR
Audiophile

Posts: 2446
Location: connecticut
Joined: April 7, 2009
 ..

 

It should not be an issue, posted on May 3, 2015 at 17:31:10
Ross
Audiophile

Posts: 1814
Joined: January 24, 2000
 Love goes both ways. If one is passionate about a hobby and is reasonable about time and money devoted to it, the other should at least be tolerant, if not encouraging. I have a separate room for my audio indulgences and the HT is purposely designed to be as unobtrusive as possible, while still delivering good sound. On the other hand, my wife's hobby is gardening and decorating. I give her carte blanche and provide an opinion when/where appropriate. I am always supportive because it is something she clearly enjoys.

In the case cited above, I would say that there were hidden issues, or the husband may have stayed married because of the kids and the likely cost of divorce. That said, in many cases conflicts like these become apparent before walking down the aisle. Some see the signs and move on, others chose to remain blind and endure the consequences.

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 17:32:32
neolith
Audiophile

Posts: 4842
Location: Virginia
Joined: February 21, 2002
Contributor
  Since: December 2, 2004
 First of all, you need to understand that once you start living with a woman (particularly if you are married to her) the rules of usage of certain possessive pronouns are altered. For the most part you can forget about "my" or "mine" and you also need to realize that "our" and "ours" should be replaced with the more grammatically correct expressions of "her" and "hers".
Having managed that concept, then it is easy to understand that your stereo system and your living space are mere illusions of a previous life.

FWIW, I gave up listening to my system for almost 15 years. I could have continued listening at levels below 50 db but the effort wasn't worth it. Fortunately I was eventually able to get a dedicated and isolated listening space. Was it worth it? Absolutely -- the world's best stereo system pales in comparison to a good and loving woman.



"Our head is round in order to allow our thoughts to change direction." Francis Picabia

 

A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 3, 2015 at 17:38:24
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 Years ago I became friends with a truly great audiophile and a wonderful person. He was married, had a couple of kids, and was a very successful professional. Busy guy.

But this gentleman was a real cutting edge audiophile, sharp as a tack, and posted some simply killer tweaks over in the Tweaks Asylum, where we met. Later on, we got together in person at a mutual audiophile's very nice home, we had a great dinner, and then as dessert was in the offing, I decided to talk audio a wee bit.

Big mistake!

My friend's wife cut me the absolute coldest, death-to-you-scum look I have ever openly received. Then she made clear, and I mean CLEAR, that audio was NOT going to be discussed at the table.

Well, me being me, I took that as a challenge. So, I ignored her roundly and continued with my inquiry, as if she hadn't said a word. I mean, who the hell is she to tell us/me what can and cannot be discussed?

My friend became somewhat visibly distraught, and suggested we excuse ourselves later for audio talk. Now that he had chimed in, I withdrew my query, apologized, and said, "No problem". So it was then back to the absolutely thrilling conversation about kids and school and some other earth-shattering topics that many women seem inexorably drawn to. I was completely enthralled......NOT!

But I bit my tongue, waiting for the dessert to end so we could go and enjoy our he-man audio talk. Yet somehow, when we men left to go share our audio lore and wisdom, the party quickly concluded and the audio part got short shrift in favor of kids needing to be tucked in, etc., etc.

On the way home, I commented on all this to my wife. who mentioned, "You know, she HATES audio. She doesn't want him involved in it at all, and she'd like it if he quit the hobby for her and the family."

I wasn't surprised in the least. She was clearly disgusted when I swung the men's talk in that direction at dessert, and then furious when I overrode her and continued with the topic over her objections.

In the years that passed after that dinner, I was strangely never invited to gatherings, and my friend's e-mails to me became more and more brief and infrequent, only letting me know in very short terms that his wife would not let him set up his system ANYWHERE, as there simply wasn't room (or so she claimed.)

When he bought a new place for his family with much more space, I was totally stoked for him, and said, "NOW, finally, you'll have the space for your system, eh?" His response was, "Well, I sure hope so. That was the idea, at least in part."

Yet, as the months passed by, somehow there still wasn't room for his system, even in the new digs, and only time for the kids, work and her, and NEVER any time for his old audio buddies.

Less than a year later I learned through a mutual friend that he had died in his study, working (as usual) on his weekend. He was found at his desk, lifeless and cold, by his son. I was speechless.......... with ANGER!

I knew exactly what he died of: a broken dream and stymied life. His passion (audio and music) was allowed to wane, falter, and ultimately flicker out. His wife had stolen his energy and directed it towards HER goals, rather than simply SHARING his life with him, and giving him the freedom to also enjoy what brought him so very much pleasure and joy. To see this great fellow's face when he talked audio was to see a man truly proud and passionate about his hobby in a way I rarely encountered in my life. And he was BRILLIANT at it, too! Really a top-tier mind achieving truly high-end results with his incredibly creative DIY builds and tweaked out system.

And now he's gone.

I've never mentioned this to our mutual friend, as his wife and the deceased's wife are still very close friends. But this is my way of venting at the loss of a great man to a selfish woman who simply couldn't share in his joy and passion about audio, so she squelched it for her own ends.

So, to answer your query: NEVER allow ANY woman to squelch your passion, EVER! If she tries, you know she's a selfish BITCH who will suck the life energy from you and leave you at best an empty shell, and at worst, in your grave prematurely.

Just my two cents.......

(And I still miss my friend, and grieve to this day.... )

 

I cannot even imagine, posted on May 3, 2015 at 17:49:37
LWR
Audiophile

Posts: 66808
Location: The woods
Joined: August 12, 2003
 hav ing anything to do with a woman who was not a music fiend. What would be the point?

 

Short answer no., posted on May 3, 2015 at 18:06:47
slapshot
Audiophile

Posts: 2248
Joined: January 9, 2006
 Longer answer....as mentioned below, if she loves him, she would try to accommodate his needs as well.

 

{{{Let's say you had a stereo system you loved}}} , posted on May 3, 2015 at 18:16:09
three_sox
 ... I don't and can't imagine I ever will.

I have lots of nice things and lots of toys but 'love' is not a word I relate to for describing inanimate possessions.

In all seriousness, I feel sorry for folks who take this question seriously.

 

I hope you are not married yet?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 18:19:43
Stale
Audiophile

Posts: 3263
Location: So. California
Joined: August 3, 2001
 That living space does not belong to either of you but to both of you. If you can't find common ground and space / time for both yours and her's hobbies, I do not see you staying together, at least not happily. This assumes that music and audio system are important to you.

I can not imagine living and even less marrying a woman that does not like music and who would demand that I give up my system.

The only thing she asked me is to CONSIDER smaller speakers. Yes, my Eminent Technology LFT-VIII really dominated the living room. I changed them at this time to Sonist floor-standers that both of us like, but only because I wanted to, not because she forced me to. (Temporary due to pending move to the other state.)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane."

 

Did you marry her yet?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 18:47:54
Rod M
Web Geek

Posts: 16246
Location: So. California
Joined: March 1, 1999
Contributor
  Since: March 1, 1999
 If so, didn't you expect this issue beforehand?

-Rod

 

Replace her with a cat. (nt), posted on May 3, 2015 at 19:33:11
samtellig
 nt

 

Why would a woman who really loves you, posted on May 3, 2015 at 19:33:42
Mike K
Audiophile

Posts: 13976
Location: 97701
Joined: September 23, 1999
 want to do that?

Lack of skill dictates economy of style. - Joey Ramone

 

RE: A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 3, 2015 at 19:45:56
ornery
Audiophile

Posts: 915
Location: your mom's basement
Joined: February 7, 2013
 Women tend to over complicate the mundane things in life to the point where these things consume every minute of every day. Men usually try to minimize time spent on mundane things so they can move on to something they're interested in. There are a lot of arrogant, self-righteous women out there who think they're better than their husbands because he'll spend time doing things he likes and all she concerns herself with is work and family. A large chunk of the work/family stuff she spends time on is unnecessary and of no interest to anyone in the family but her.

It's a funny thing to hear women complain about controlling men. Controlling women are at least a million times more common than controlling men.

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 19:54:38
Bill the K
Audiophile

Posts: 8386
Joined: June 3, 2006
 Move the system to the Drawing room.

Bill

 

Damn right...NT, posted on May 3, 2015 at 20:20:58
RGA
Reviewer

Posts: 15177
Location: Hong Kong
Joined: August 8, 2001
 NT

 

RE: Damn right...NT, posted on May 3, 2015 at 20:23:05
Jack D II
Audiophile

Posts: 1535
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Joined: June 17, 2009
 Only if she had a liquor store and a bass boat.

 

I told her..., posted on May 3, 2015 at 20:40:14
mkuller
Audiophile

Posts: 38130
Location: SF Bay Area
Joined: April 22, 2003
 ...I had this stereo in my living room before you moved in - don't make me chose.

That was 32 years ago.

 

Why on earth ... , posted on May 3, 2015 at 21:15:40
three_sox
 ... Inflict such a douche on a poor unsuspecting cat?

EDIT: Syntax

 

In serious need of role reversal., posted on May 3, 2015 at 21:24:33
soulfood
Audiophile

Posts: 3725
Joined: August 9, 2001
 Just say, no. If she asks, "What's that?", then you're too late. Ask her how you might help her to rearrange your life.

 

RE: Buy headphones and condoms., posted on May 3, 2015 at 21:54:31
genungo
 I don't get it. Are you saying that headphones spread venereal disease?

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 21:55:54
430cruz
Audiophile

Posts: 253
Location: S. E. Pennsylvania
Joined: March 13, 2009
 Everyone has their own definition of love when it comes to music and their systems. If you are passionate about your system and the joy it brings you I have one thing to ask you about your scenario.

Can you say to yourself that you'll never hold a grudge or harbor a deep disappointment with the compromise?

There are many ways to listen to music but I get the greatest joy and fulfillment from Classic two channel systems. It frustrated me to no end when I compromised an absolutely killer system and room for the sake of style to make her happy. To be clear I am a musician and music is a part of my soul, my connection to the universe. It's what allows me to breath some days. My agreement to the showcase living room destroyed that systems ability completely which I had not expected to be that severe. Years of putzing around trying to make it work ended in a complete removal of the system and sold off most of the gear I had. It may sound petty to some but it did leave a pain that I hid from her for almost 10 years but the real point of my story is the fact that I grew ever more angry and an unhealthy relationship manifested from it. The room sees traffic thrice a year for holiday parties, otherwise the French door are closed and it's a museum not a living room.

Does that sound like what may happen to you?
Can you "not" hold that grudge or harbor what may be a deeply disappointing feeling of loss and not hold it against her?

 

RE: A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 3, 2015 at 22:30:35
JayG
Audiophile

Posts: 859
Location: So. California
Joined: January 22, 2002
 Very touching story. I know it must have also been very frustrating for you to watch your buddy"s life blood being sucked from him and you could do nothing to stop it. His wife is unquestionably a selfish self-centered narcissist but he chose to remain powerless rather than standup and draw a line in the sand with this jerky woman. He chose confrontation avoidance at all cost which likely contributed to his early demise.

 

Exactly. nt, posted on May 3, 2015 at 23:05:37
jusbe
Audiophile

Posts: 5950
Location: North Island
Joined: April 4, 2000
Big J

"... only a very few individuals understand as yet that personal salvation is a contradiction in terms."


 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 3, 2015 at 23:22:52
Disbeliever
Audiophile

Posts: 1877
Joined: June 1, 2012
 It is not suprising that many audiophiles are not married except to their hobby.

 

IF she wanted me to spend time wiht her,, , posted on May 3, 2015 at 23:25:48
hifitommy
Audiophile

Posts: 15388
Location: canyon country califiornia, orig from buffalo ny
Joined: June 9, 2000
 she might realize that the audio system is not an obstacle to that. mine had the sense to REALLY love me.
...regards...tr

 

RE: A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 3, 2015 at 23:44:06
kavakidd
Audiophile

Posts: 20316
Location: Upstate NY
Joined: April 15, 2004
 Perfectly said - my wife knew my passions when we met and they never were an issue
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to" Mark Twain

 

RE: A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 4, 2015 at 00:42:08
RGA
Reviewer

Posts: 15177
Location: Hong Kong
Joined: August 8, 2001
 This is exactly the problem with most couples - they don't discuss this shi(stuff) before they get married.

The woman doesn't have to be into audio but she does have to be accepting of your hobby just like if she was into Photography and I wasn't - I know buying cameras/lenses/print materials will be costly - so be it. Her hobby I can live with that.

Same goes for "in the bedroom" - tell the girl about the weird kinky stuff you may or may not be into BEFORE you get married - less chance of one partner seeking it out on the side.

I can;t believe how many guys are on forums discussing how they have to sneak stuff home, lie about the price, or are forced to sell their 7 foot high 4 foot wide loudspeakers for a Totem Model One. The conversation should go.

"Hey by the way if we ever get married I want you to know some things. First I love music and it so happens that my hobby is buying very good equipment to play it. This equipment is usually large and takes up a lot of space in the living room (I will compromise by putting it in the basement but I can't compromise on the size). Further I tend to spend an average of $10,000 a year on my stereo(and this will increase with inflation) and that too is something I intend to keep doing."

Why is this so hard?

Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory) and his "relationship contract" is not such a terrible idea after all.

 

This is what's puzzling., posted on May 4, 2015 at 02:04:02
Michael Samra
Dealer

Posts: 36118
Location: saginaw michigan
Joined: January 30, 2005
 Whether it's audio or ham radio,many women view those two hobbies as the other woman.These are two of the most holsum hobbies anyone could have if you don't let it consume the family budget which both have the potential to do.Be that as it may,most don't let it drain on household expenses and yet I find many women become enraged at the thought of you spending an afternoon talking across the world or spinning some vinyl with your buddies.It's like many women don't want to take part in either hobby even tho both of them have become more female friendly in the last 25 years.
It isn't like you're out at the bar boozing and whoring with a bunch of floozies.You are home and while there are some women who get into these hobbies,many still consider them a man's game with no place for the opposite gender.
I'm glad I raised my daughter to be involved in these hobbies while maintaining her feminine side so now she has the best of both worlds.
"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong" H. L. Mencken

 

RE: This is what's puzzling., posted on May 4, 2015 at 02:24:04
morricab
Distributor or Rep

Posts: 9181
Location: switzerland
Joined: April 1, 2005
 With the grief I have gotten in the past, maybe I might as well have gone out boozing or womanizing...the response would have been similar I think.

 

RE: Why would a woman who really loves you, posted on May 4, 2015 at 02:30:21
morricab
Distributor or Rep

Posts: 9181
Location: switzerland
Joined: April 1, 2005
 My experience is that women don't like the competition for the time you are spending on your hobbies...it seems to amplify once kids enter the equation. Then your time is either spent on the wife or the kids or the house but NOT the hobbies. Women like to make sure things are getting done...they get focused on this rather than enjoying life. Everything becomes a project. Men seem not to "grow up" the same way and like to have the hobbies and other distractions of interst.

I see this in numerous relationships and I struggle to keep my hobbies.

 

RE: A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 4, 2015 at 02:38:03
morricab
Distributor or Rep

Posts: 9181
Location: switzerland
Joined: April 1, 2005
 It is hard because even when they agree and claim to know they later rewrite the rules or assume you will change the way they want you to change. When you don't bend later to their will then comes the pressure, the guilt trips, the fights etc.


BTW, heard the LM219 the other day on a full LM WE replica horn system (complete with field coil drivers). Awesome sound!

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 4, 2015 at 03:50:09
fantja
Audiophile

Posts: 15524
Location: Alabama
Joined: September 11, 2010
 Keep the Stereo.

 

RE: A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 4, 2015 at 04:04:45
morricab
Distributor or Rep

Posts: 9181
Location: switzerland
Joined: April 1, 2005
 Your post really resonates with me. I have experienced some of this firsthand in my own life and I have had to fight tooth and nail sometimes to maintain my own interests relative to those of the "family". Of course I know men who are totally subserivent to the wills of their wives...it seems to be a biologically hardwired female behavior (a form of nest building?) that men throughout history have struggled with. STill, I do know other relationships where the wife is very tolerant of the man's hobbies...as long as they do not cause some kind of hardship in the family. No one of course is suggesting this kind of extreme hobby behavior, which is likely more an addiction than a hobby at that point.

 

If that space was really important to her, then dedicate another space where audio is #1, posted on May 4, 2015 at 04:59:41
Dave_K
 Assuming you're both reasonable people, you ought to be able to allocate space in the home to accommodate both of your priorities. If your home can't accommodate that for whatever reason, move. If you can't afford to move, find a compromise.

This should not be an either-or decision, or a battle to see who "wins". If it is, the relationship is not healthy and you need to solve that problem first before worrying about audio and decorating.

My wife and I did clash over the living room, but over usage, not aesthetics (I have the eye for design, not her). She is a TV and film junkie and likes to sit in front of a fire, while I prefer music. So we put some effort and money into a nice fireplace and arranged the room for viewing the TV and fireplace. We directed some audio funds into HT sound, and aesthetics was a consideration in selecting stuff. Then I took a small finished room downstairs and spent a couple years experimenting and building in room treatments to make it suitable for audio. It is home to a dedicated system. I can unwind there before going to sleep without disturbing anyone too much, dicker with my system, or take my young daughter down there and bop to some music when my wife can't take her anymore. We're both pretty happy with the arrangement, but there are times when she wants me to watch a movie with her upstairs but I want her to listen to music with me downstairs.

 

Ditto, posted on May 4, 2015 at 06:08:30
E-Stat
Audiophile

Posts: 37673
Joined: May 12, 2000
Contributor
  Since: April 5, 2002
 We listened to music quite a bit during our dating. Here's my bachelor pad circa '85:



My passion for music has never been an issue. When we married a year later, we finished the basement and moved the system down there. :)

 

Honestly, posted on May 4, 2015 at 06:13:21
E-Stat
Audiophile

Posts: 37673
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Contributor
  Since: April 5, 2002
 I'd really rather not have my main system in the living room either. Her piano looks better and provides enjoyment for both of us.

I've lived in homes with basements or a spare large bedroom for the stats.

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 4, 2015 at 06:36:41
Matthew G.
Audiophile

Posts: 413
Joined: June 9, 2000
 Thanks for the thought. There's not a whole lot to photograph, basically a big rectangle. The challenge is to turn one space (12'x30') into a living room, dining room and study (i.e. computer desk). As is, everything fits, but it feels like what it is--a bunch of randomly assembled pieces of furniture stuck wherever they seemed to fit best. We'd both like to make it feel more organic and homey. She has never even obliquely mentioned getting rid of the stereo, but objectively speaking, it does limit the layout options. An extra room to dedicate to music would, of course, solve everything, but all the other rooms are bedrooms.

Anyway, for the time being, my question is hypothetical.

 

I remember those Altec A-7's in the front room, posted on May 4, 2015 at 06:37:00
LWR
Audiophile

Posts: 66808
Location: The woods
Joined: August 12, 2003

of our A-Frame in La Honda. And Rhonda Jane dancing in front of them, which was the purpose anyway....

 

Just as hi-fi is a male-oriented hobby..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 07:01:25
FenderLover
 fixing "broken" men is a female hobby.

The idea of being broken-in, like some house pet, is very revolting.



8^)

 

I lucked out, posted on May 4, 2015 at 07:11:07
Awe-d-o-file
Dealer

Posts: 21037
Location: 50 miles west of DC
Joined: January 10, 2004
 My wife is an extra class ham too and I never steered here there, she just decided she wanted to get her ticket so as not to have to be third partied into the conversation.

She is also cool on my audio and electronics in general. She gets an award for her tolerance.


E
T

ET

"If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed" - Curly Howard 1936

 

Okay, substitue "enjoy" for "love". nt, posted on May 4, 2015 at 07:37:42
DRam
Audiophile

Posts: 1309
Location: Montana
Joined: July 30, 2005
 nt

 

Add this to the mix and see what she says., posted on May 4, 2015 at 07:57:08
Michael Samra
Dealer

Posts: 36118
Location: saginaw michigan
Joined: January 30, 2005



You need another hobby Ralf.
"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong" H. L. Mencken

 

RE: A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 4, 2015 at 07:59:04
tedk.
Audiophile

Posts: 401
Location: chicagoland
Joined: July 7, 2004
Sad.
But, you are treated the way YOU ALLOW yourself to be treated.

 

Not permanently., posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:01:06
DRam
Audiophile

Posts: 1309
Location: Montana
Joined: July 30, 2005
 I knew for a long time that the wife didn't like my floor standing speakers. She made occasional comments, but no demands to remove them. So one Christmas she received a Klipsch surround system - four tiny, tinny front/rear and a decent center to go with our existing sub - and is thrilled with the sound and the improved decor. It took a while to afford a new amp, but now I have a dedicated audio room, and we're both happy.

Give and take, also known as compromise, it essential to any successful relationship.

 

I believe you are correct, posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:06:42
Mike K
Audiophile

Posts: 13976
Location: 97701
Joined: September 23, 1999
 which leads me to ask the usual question: why get married? For men, there's nothing to be gained and everything to be lost.

Lack of skill dictates economy of style. - Joey Ramone

 

RE: I lucked out, posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:07:36
Michael Samra
Dealer

Posts: 36118
Location: saginaw michigan
Joined: January 30, 2005
 Makes it nice.Did she pass the Extra class with or without CW? I never upgraded from advanced but being I'm on 3880 AM phone most of the time,I didn't bother with it.I got my general back in the late 70s but even tho it was 13wpm then,I only had to like 1 minute perfect copy of what the VE's sent.Now all that's gone.
"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong" H. L. Mencken

 

she should respect your hobby as well, find a common ground (nt)., posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:14:55
bouncy ball
Audiophile

Posts: 1221
Location: British Columbia
Joined: July 26, 2003
 .

 

RE: Why on earth ... , posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:19:06
Michael Samra
Dealer

Posts: 36118
Location: saginaw michigan
Joined: January 30, 2005



You mean like this?

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong" H. L. Mencken

 

He looks like my Maksik. A korat., posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:25:05
samtellig
 Where did you find him or her?

Just beautiful.

 

If she truly loves you, posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:29:46
Jon L
Audiophile

Posts: 6065
Joined: April 6, 2000
 and knew how much music means to you, she would not force you to give that up. Just saying..

 

RE: He looks like my Maksik. A korat., posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:51:20
Michael Samra
Dealer

Posts: 36118
Location: saginaw michigan
Joined: January 30, 2005
 A friend gave him to me when she moved to Nebraska..His name is Patrick and he was four months old when I got him. My daughter has our Bengal and Abyssinian with her as we got them as kittens.They moved to Fla with her so I got Patrick.
"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong" H. L. Mencken

 

LOTS of guys give up their system (and house, car, yacht, etc etc) for women they no longer love..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 08:52:01
David S.
Audiophile

Posts: 3552
Location: Mountains of WNC
Joined: August 31, 2000
 Seen plenty of guys lose pretty much everything in divorces.

Wouldn't it make more sense to give up something dear for someone you actually love?

That said? Sounds like the ideal time to put on an addition specifically tailored to enhance the system in question. In the mean time? Put the gear in storage & let the little lady have her way with the existing space. :)

 

He looks like a nice, plump stewing kitty to me..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 09:33:30
rlw
Audiophile

Posts: 3347
Location: Near West Palm Bch, FL
Joined: August 29, 2006
 Dice into bite-sized chunks, add some nicely seasoned broth, a bit of broccolie (sp on purpose), some small red taters (what's taters, Precious?), garden fresh carrots, season to taste, simmer for a coupla hours or so and you'd have one hell of a good meal for a family of 4 or 5...
-RW-

 

Actually, to me..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 09:38:36
rlw
Audiophile

Posts: 3347
Location: Near West Palm Bch, FL
Joined: August 29, 2006
 Being cryo'd is a much more revolting thought. However, staying rock hard all night long might have its advantages...
-RW-

 

Headphones are uncomfortable and condoms can have problems with frequency response. /nm/, posted on May 4, 2015 at 09:43:22
tketcham
Audiophile

Posts: 6701
Location: East of the 100th meridian USofA
Joined: March 21, 2005
Contributor
  Since: October 1, 2005
 Tom

 

RE: Would you give up your system for a woman you loved?, posted on May 4, 2015 at 09:46:53
Wojciech
Audiophile

Posts: 4131
Joined: June 23, 2009
 Absolutely , no question about that but only under condition that she would not demand it knowing that I really want to keep the system. Don't think twice if she's the ONE. You know, the feelings crumble rather fast and life gets in the way and everything sets against that initial "love" , Why not enjoy it while it's still in full bloom and magic's sparkle? Apparently some men can fall in love in every supper attractive pair of legs which crosses their path but personally I think that it's a pretty rare occurrence which affects us only once or twice in a lifetime. Most of couples are sadly a marriage of convenience. Music on table radio ,in the car ,live, and on small system can be a rewarding experience and we in this hobby at least once completely forget that the system is not the end but just a meaning or vessel to get there.
I also have troubles with women related to Audio but I absolutely agree that it went out of hand many moons ago and it's a clinical study of a obsessive compulsive behavior :0)
PS
Of course I witnessed examples when man supports the family , has a big house full of designer's "showrooms" which nobody really use and he's allowed to keep small pair of designer approved speakers in some obscure corner. In that instances I think he deserves it.
On the other hand one can hardly blame women for not wanting an "altar " full of blue LED eye piercing ,grotesque looking cookware junk in the middle of the room sided by AVATAR speakers surrounded by miles of cables.
Rgrds, W

 

Nahhhh, I have a *much* better idea..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 09:55:50
rlw
Audiophile

Posts: 3347
Location: Near West Palm Bch, FL
Joined: August 29, 2006
 >>In the mean time? Put the gear in storage & let the little lady have her way with the existing space. :)<<

No fucking way would I do that!! Put the little lady in storage (cryo, perhaps?) and have *your* way with the existing space. That's a two-fer if ever I saw one...The only potential downside I can see is that she might come out even more frigid than before she went in. In that case, get you an AudioDharma cable cooker and have a go with it....


Old joke: You know why women have 2 sets of lips? So they can piss and moan at the same time.... Bada-bing!!

-RW-

 

Let her win that one, and it will never stop, posted on May 4, 2015 at 10:04:37
Brian H P
Audiophile

Posts: 1291
Location: Oregon
Joined: December 18, 2012
 Next it will be your other hobbies, then your dog, then all your old friends, then your favorite food . . . you get the idea.

Being "in love" is hardly the ideal psychological state in which to make rational decisions tat affect your future. Guys make all kind of dumb mistakes, with lifetime repercussions, while tripping on their own reproductive hormones.

Too many women these days have the idea that once they get their claws into a guy, they own him and can dictate every aspect of his life. And every time they win another round, and the guy backs down, they lose a little more respect for him, until they regard him as their passive, manipulable clown puppet.

Don't fall for it. Your music system makes you happy. She will make you miserable. Keep the hi-fi. Ditch the bitch.

 

RE: LOTS of guys give up their system (and house, car, yacht, etc etc) for women they no longer love..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 10:21:41
Wojciech
Audiophile

Posts: 4131
Joined: June 23, 2009
 That's also true and the first thing they want after they already stripped you out of money is your stereo which they always passionately hated ..
" American woman , stay away from meee e..." ha ha ha

 

My wife made me choose, posted on May 4, 2015 at 10:30:30
kerr
Audiophile

Posts: 4376
Location: Central Indiana
Joined: November 10, 2003
 I missed her for a little while.

 

Reminds me, posted on May 4, 2015 at 10:41:11
kavakidd
Audiophile

Posts: 20316
Location: Upstate NY
Joined: April 15, 2004
 of an old saying.

Women marry an imperfect man hoping he will change -

Men marry a perfect woman hoping she'll never change -
"Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to" Mark Twain

 

Take your inversion boots along..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 11:03:44
genungo
 Essential for the cryo-ing process. If your willy is going to get frozen at all, make sure it's pointing in the right direction...

 

Does that mean..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 12:27:29
Djhymn
Audiophile

Posts: 682
Joined: October 15, 2002
 That your aim is improving?

;}

 

RE: I believe you are correct, posted on May 4, 2015 at 12:30:26
morricab
Distributor or Rep

Posts: 9181
Location: switzerland
Joined: April 1, 2005
 Interesting point and one I was discussing with friends the other day. I think if you want kids it makes some sense...otherwise not at all. The funny thing is that I only started to have some trouble about this stuff after the birth of my daughter. When we were married without kids it was not really an issue because I already had HUGE speakers and amps when we started dating. I have downsized considerably since those Glory days ;-).

 

too many variables, posted on May 4, 2015 at 12:30:36
mbnx01
Audiophile

Posts: 7956
Location: Eagle, Idaho
Joined: October 22, 2004
 Are you living in an 800 square foot condo?

Do you only have one room between the two of you for all your hobbies?

Fair is fair. I will say I've got a buddy whose wife made him get rid of his subwoofer because 'she didn't like how it looked'. They've got a big house, I would have told her to take a hike.




'A lie is halfway around the world before the truth gets its boots on'. -Mark Twain

 

Darned impressive shack!, posted on May 4, 2015 at 12:41:09
E-Stat
Audiophile

Posts: 37673
Joined: May 12, 2000
Contributor
  Since: April 5, 2002
 No, I couldn't get away with adding that to the mix - unless I stuck in the back of the room with the stats. :)

My oldest brother was a HAM as well, but had a much simpler setup. He did, however, have a huge tower antenna located in the middle of Unversity Park in Dallas. His neighbor asked him why he had such a big one. His reply? He had a big screen TV! He got some of his gear from a retired CBS guy that was borderline illegal in terms of power. Sometimes, his sprinkler heads would pop when he broadcasted.

Love the prop, too. Hartzell?

 

Agreed. (Nt.), posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:07:12
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 .

 

Your analysis is correct, IMHO. (Nt.), posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:08:22
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 .

 

Yup. (Nt.), posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:09:45
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 .

 

Good for you! Glad to hear it. (Nt.), posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:10:41
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 .

 

LOL! (Nt.), posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:11:26
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 .

 

Fine advice. (Nt.), posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:12:26
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 .

 

Very nice pad. Good speaker choice, too. (Nt.), posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:13:53
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 .

 

Good points. (Nt.), posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:15:00
Winston Smith
Audiophile

Posts: 1014
Location: PNW (summers) and Southern AZ (winters)
Joined: December 2, 2006
 .

 

That was just after I moved in, posted on May 4, 2015 at 13:24:11
E-Stat
Audiophile

Posts: 37673
Joined: May 12, 2000
Contributor
  Since: April 5, 2002
 so I didn't have any window treatments up yet and the large tapesty draped over the railing behind the couch was put on the back wall.

We had our second house built and I spec-ed a large downstairs listening room. With my current house, I'm using a large bedroom as a dedicated listening room. Guys need a cave!

 

RE: That was just after I moved in, posted on May 4, 2015 at 15:17:26
ErikM
Audiophile

Posts: 96
Location: New Jersey
Joined: November 13, 2004
 If she loved me she wouldn't want me to give it up.. If she was so anti- music I wouldn't have gotten to the point in relationship where it would be an issue..

FWIW my wife thinks the audio stuff is cool.. she especially likes the way the MBL 101e look.. She also really dug the various Logan's I've had..

 

Fella sold me his stereo for $100 to please the woman he just married.., posted on May 4, 2015 at 15:22:13
Nuit
 He had been single, and the stereo was in the basement.. When he got married they moved to a condo (with no basement.)
So he decided to sell me the system. It was old but decent. I made a bit of money selling off the parts.
I kept the 25 year old Dynavector Ruby 23 phono cartridge.

And out of wheeling and dealing I ended up with a 'free' Audio Research SP-15 (which I still use for the great three tube phono section)

He retired and I have not kept up with the results of his getting married..

 

married cartoon, posted on May 4, 2015 at 15:30:29
mbnx01
Audiophile

Posts: 7956
Location: Eagle, Idaho
Joined: October 22, 2004
 Man and woman at the altar with thought ballons over their heads.

The man's reads 'This is great, now I can have sex whenever I want'.

The woman's read 'This is great, now I never have to have sex again'.




'A lie is halfway around the world before the truth gets its boots on'. -Mark Twain

 

Don't fall for it..., posted on May 4, 2015 at 15:48:00
JeffH
Audiophile

Posts: 4574
Location: Orange County, So Cal
Joined: April 5, 2000
 Ask yourself just how much of the house is actually in your control. All you want is just one wall! If she really loved you, she wouldn't push it.

 

+1 ...so true. I lived it. (nt), posted on May 4, 2015 at 16:01:09
reelsmith.
Audiophile

Posts: 13134
Location: CT
Joined: June 7, 2005
Contributor
  Since: January 19, 2010
 .


reelsmith's axiom: Its going to be used equipment when I sell it, so it may as well be used equipment when I buy it.


 

Makes no difference ... , posted on May 4, 2015 at 16:55:45
three_sox
 ... If a guy is incapable of negotiating a simple thing like a stereo system with his life partner then he is pretty useless to start with.

Reading the comments in this thread there is little wonder why the divorce rate is so high and why so many guys moan and bitch about women.

Most things in life are not black & white. Looking at simple things like a stereo system in such terms is defeatist & banal.




 

He should have grown some balls...., posted on May 4, 2015 at 16:57:11
kuma
Audiophile

Posts: 10274
Location: IN
Joined: July 8, 2001
 I'm afraid he's dug his own early grave.

 

gotta set the ground rules before hand. Like any hobby, posted on May 4, 2015 at 17:12:04
Green Lantern
Audiophile

Posts: 16952
Location: San Diego, Ca
Joined: November 12, 2002
Contributor
  Since: June 17, 2003
 A man's gotta have his release.

My previous wife had no problem with my stereo stuff; we lasted 22 yrs. I explained to my current wife before we got married (and before she moved in to live with me) that my music room was 'my' room for stereo equipment and anyone could enjoy it with me. I further explained she could have every other room in the house, but the stereo room had to be my mine. No exceptions, so far no problems (yet).

My work schedule often zig-zags with my wife's. Some days I'm off during the week while she's away at work. This gives me ample time and opportunity to 'let loose' on my system for many hours on end.









 

+1 n/t, posted on May 4, 2015 at 17:39:09
mark111
Audiophile

Posts: 4699
Joined: April 12, 2002
 .

 

RE: A Real Life Tragedy......., posted on May 4, 2015 at 17:39:54
Green Lantern
Audiophile

Posts: 16952
Location: San Diego, Ca
Joined: November 12, 2002
Contributor
  Since: June 17, 2003
 incredible post; thanks for sharing!









 

hell hath no fury, posted on May 4, 2015 at 17:47:05
Green Lantern
Audiophile

Posts: 16952
Location: San Diego, Ca
Joined: November 12, 2002
Contributor
  Since: June 17, 2003
 like a woman scorn. Chicks these days aren't afraid of men's balls; in fact many live for the challenge.









 

lol, posted on May 4, 2015 at 18:19:27
Green Lantern
Audiophile

Posts: 16952
Location: San Diego, Ca
Joined: November 12, 2002
Contributor
  Since: June 17, 2003
 gr8 post









 

Agree., posted on May 4, 2015 at 18:42:18
mark111
Audiophile

Posts: 4699
Joined: April 12, 2002
 My wife has been very supportive of my sound system and music hobby.
enjoy,
mark

 

RE: This is what's puzzling., posted on May 4, 2015 at 18:46:29
Michael Samra
Dealer

Posts: 36118
Location: saginaw michigan
Joined: January 30, 2005
 LOL
"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong" H. L. Mencken

 

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