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General Asylum General audio topics that don't fit into specific categories. |
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In Reply to: Going through a divorce posted by navman on March 1, 2015 at 18:47:30:
.. I can only quote Geoffrey Chaucer: avoid all lawsuits (and lawyers) like the plague!
AMEN!
As for whether you will 'lose' your equipment, some background is necessary. But in the final analysis, the answer to your question is: it depends.
Here's why:
Most lawyers are money-grubbers, plain and simple. In divorce cases, they can manipulate the crap out of you emotionally, which serves their interests of drawing out the matter in order to bill the maximum they can. Divorce lawyers are among the worst I've seen. It's disgusting, really. The process could be so much more streamlined and efficient if not for the greed-heads. They ruin everything, and the law seems to be filled with these types.
(My retirement was a joyous thing, indeed!)
The finest advice I can give you to avoid losing your system is to do your best to keep matters OUT of the lawyer's hands and into your own. Control is critical to avoiding being unnecessarily pushed into conflict by lawyers with big billings on their brains.
Relatively low-cost divorce counselors who specialize in such matters should be available to assist your wife and you in this process, saving you both a boat-load of cash, and making matters far less emotionally trying. They stress compromise and agreement, rather than conflict. This is critical in making sure neither party gets screwed or hurt in the proceedings.
Of course, it takes two to tango, so if the spouse is being belligerent or combative, you're in a tough position. But if possible, avoid lawyers altogether. With lawyers in the mix, your system could be in jeopardy, as a bargaining chip used by a shrewd attorney to extract other concessions on unrelated matters. They try and hit you where it hurts, for obvious reasons.
Thus, having lawyers increases the chances your system will get swept up in the battle as a means of pressuring you. You don't need that. Or lawyers. Or their inflated fees.
Assuming for the moment no lawyers are involved, then the only reason a wife usually wants the stereo is to simply screw you and hurt you. If this is the case, let it go. The more you get pissed or hurt, the more she gets what she wants, which is you being pissed or hurt.
By being aloof and above the fray, you can make her frustrated by not being emotionally trapped by your belongings (or her obnoxious machinations.) The Buddhists say that you do NOT own your property, your property owns YOU. By 'letting go' of any emotional attachment, you thwart her plans to inflict emotional turmoil and hurt you. And as a collateral benefit, you make yourself more insulated from further harm in the future in this area as well, say, if your home is burglarized or everything is lost in a fire. Detachment is best from many perspectives, divorce especially.
BTW- I didn't read many of the other posts, but those I did read indicated most agree with what I am advising here, but you must follow your own heart and do what you think best. Your ex can always try and drag you down the path of emotional battering. Do what you can to avoid it and you will have done all that you are able to salvage an otherwise ugly situation. (And save your stereo from a forced sale!)
Good luck and best wishes!
Cheers,
WS
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Follow Ups
- As a retired litigation attorney....... - Winston Smith 11:29:22 03/02/15 (0)
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